Sophie’s news….
2005/9/15
◆ 當拼圖被組合完成…
「試圖把事情看清楚，最好看得遠一點」一直是我的興趣。舉例來說，如果有人在校門口跌倒，我一定會仔細端詳那個跌倒的地方，而不是那個跌倒的人。可想而知，從1998年初確定自己蒙召作回教徒的宣教士到如今，這一路摸索尋求的過程，是多麼的熬煉我的耐性。感謝神，今年的八月27日，終於撥雲見日，豁然開朗…
◆ 大大的心
常有人問我宣教的對象和地點，我總說不出個所以然。我第一次帶著宣教的期待和眼光去的地方是中國大陸的西北，我去了青海的西寧，甘肅的蘭州，寧夏的銀川。不過，從那以後我與西北的關係卻未有任何進展。
我後來有機會去了雪梨，那裡的非基督徒中有四分之一是回教徒，我停留三個月所住的地區也有許多回教地區的移民。後來曾經有感動去西非，也已經考慮加入差會；去年我有機會去印尼兩次，一個強大回教背景但神正在復興拯救的國家。這些地方都有後續的需求和邀請，但未有清楚的神的引導。今年還有法國的呼聲。
我思想這幾次的尋求，知道自己隱約歸納出一些自己的原則：
1. 不單兵作戰—指的是不個別加入一個服事工場。這大概與我讀社會學，又覺得宣教是作戰有關。當然，一些前輩們在工場來去時對我的提醒也加深了我這樣的決定。
2. 先建立在本地團隊事奉的經驗—這其實是神引導我來內湖時的指示。所以在本地區的教會尚未建立起稍具雛形的團隊之前，我明白自己還要再學習。感謝神，目前我同時有機會學習在自己教會內建立團隊（已有傳道人和部分時間同工參與服事），也在地區聯禱會中參與青少年事工的連結。
◆ 吸引我的群體—青少年
回過頭思想自己似乎一直與青少年事工脫不了關係。我15歲開始去教會，受到的吸引就是青少年之間像家人的關係。在大學時代我在青年歸主協會作志工，也成為更生團契通信義工，接觸的都是青少年。我修
過一門「青少年犯罪與觀護制度」，幫助我從另一種眼光看青少年問題。我也參與過飛颺志工訓練，還在大四下學期進入麥當勞實地認識許多青少年。在遠東福音會服事時，我主持的廣播節目就是針對中國大陸的青少年。來到內湖，我透過聯合營會認識其他教會的青少年；在印尼Solo市，我大部分的時間與青年人一同工作。
◆ 回到耶路撒冷
怎麼把青少年與向回教徒宣教連在一起呢？八月底南桃園聯禱會辦了一個Jaeson Ma牧師的特會，之前我已經讀過他的信息，聽過他的信息CD，我知道這個人如同新約時代的使徒，他裡面信的和外面流露出的神如此真實，吸引我需要親身經歷。在三天的信息中他大部分說的都與我聽過的CD雷同(我相信那是在場的青年人需要的，他們大部分都沒有聽過CD)，但特別的是第二天晚上，週末的夜晚，他談起神對他的呼召。
他提到神對他的帶領：先是青少年，再是中國，然後忽然變成了向佛教印度教回教傳福音。當時他不明白，直到他讀了一本書「回到耶路撒冷」。神的心意是要使用中國的青年，循著絲綢之路把福音傳回耶路撒冷。而絲綢之路向北向南分別會接觸到佛教，印度教和回教地區。透過中國的青年，中亞和中東的門要打開，將有一支宣教的大軍朝向耶路撒冷進軍。
◆ 殊途同歸
老實說，「回到耶路撒冷」這個異象我在1995年第一次去中國西北的時候就聽說了，這兩年也有一些書談到幾十年前兩支由青年人組成的福音團隊，期待跨越新疆邊境進入中亞的英勇歷史。我所沒有連在一起的是自己與青少年事工的關係，以及台灣的青少年如何與中國大陸的青少年發生關係的部分。所以當Jaeson說，他要在台灣香港和海外呼召華人青年進入中國大陸校園一兩年，帶動中國大陸的校園復興，建立宣教軍隊時，我的拼圖就被拼好了。我懂了。
那晚上當我放著還沒完成的主日講章和教會週報，坐在中央大學禮堂的座位上，我只覺得對神的敬畏。在神拓展天國的計畫中，祂的確是一個建立團隊又使用團隊的神；而我選擇讓自己在團隊中等候和學習，雖然在某些人的眼中顯得緩慢甚至小信，但卻是出於神的帶領。
感謝神！祂解開了我近十年來的摸索和疑惑。把自己信主十五年的跟隨及服事放在這個天國計畫中，我發現自己一直都在宣教，宣教並不是開始於人在中國或其他異地，宣教開始於我尋求神的喜悅，作祂要我做的事。
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Hard to make decisions…
Hard to make decisions…
I’m impatient when making decision. Somebody could keep comparing the price, quality, color…etc. I couldn’t. But when I look back my life for the past 9 years, I need to say, God is awesome and I need to let my “ideal timing” go.
I was called to be a missionary on 1995 summer. On late 1995 I was lead to Hui people, the Muslims on mainland China. On 1998 Feb. I reconfirmed my calling for the M people. Then I keep thinking of the location, the timing, the need… I have lots of “it should be”. In fact, that’s not easy to walk in “it should be”. I wish to stay in HK, my father got sick. I wish to stay in Sydney, bad timing. I wish to stay in Solo Indonesia, the door didn’t open. And after this, I wish to study abroad, God still says “wait”.
Understand my calling…
1992-96 I worked in a broadcasting company focus on preaching gospel to China.
1995 I was willing to go everywhere God wants me to go.
1996-97 I had a boyfriend who was a Hui converted to Christ. Through him I heard of “back to Jerusalem” movement.
1998 I was confirmed that I’m called to be a missionary focus on the M people.
Though that’s reasonable to link my four-years broadcasting experience with the M people calling, that means, my target audience should be the M people in China, God didn’t open the gate for me to go. After graduated from seminary, I ever thought of West Africa, Sydney immigrants, Indonesian, or France. (That’s really everywhere!)
At the same time, God let me know that my heart is for youth people.
I began to go to church at my 15 years old.
I was a volunteer in “Youth for Christ” for 1-2 years.
I tried to know youth people through working in McDonald’s.
My broadcasting program is focus on young students.
I studied “youth crimes and the resolution” course and got lots of inspiration. Then I became a volunteer letter writer to youth in jail.
I felt happy and easy when I was in Solo and worked with young staff.
Through regional youth conference I know lots of young people from different churches and I like to be with them.
I think God wants young people gather together for worship and praise, split on the street and campus for prayer and share the gospel. All these are beyond local church boundaries. And I commit myself now to make these things happened.
So, youth + M people + Chinese, I think that’s my calling.
That’s why when I heard of the vision for young generation missionaries by Jeason Ma I feel awe. After over ten years I finally understand my calling. Not begin until I am in China, with the M people; but already began from Taipei long time ago!
Give me Neihu and Lanzhou
I work in Neihu, one of twelve restricts in Taipei. I can see whole Neihu from a temple in the mountain. When I think of praying for Neihu, I’ll go there and ask God to give me what I’ve seen, the commercial buildings, the schools, the people. When I realized what my calling is, it reminds me I ever see another city from a mountain. I guess God wants me to get the people there also. That city is Lanzhou, my ex-boyfriend’s hometown.
On 1997, my boyfriend gave up to study abroad due to a GRE failure. He asked me to marry him and stay with him in Lanzhou. That time China didn’t wide open like today, especially in minority people area. I don’t think I could do any preaching or church planting there as a Taiwanese. That’s me, always think about ministry! That made me a cool person and I didn’t hesitate to reject him. Indeed, over one year we separated from China and Hong Kong, our relationship is loose. I didn’t like his attitude when facing a failure. I guess maybe I’ll say yes if he asks me now. Anyway, he is a father now, outside China.
It’s hard to make decistions…
I’m impatient when making decision. Somebody could keep comparing the price, quality, color…etc. I couldn’t. But when I look back my life for the past 9 years, I need to say, God is awesome and I need to let my “ideal timing” go.
I was called to be a missionary on 1995 summer. On late 1995 I was lead to Hui people, the Muslims on mainland China. On 1998 Feb. I reconfirmed my calling for the M people. Then I keep thinking of the location, the timing, the need… I have lots of “it should be”. In fact, that’s not easy to walk in “it should be”. I wish to stay in HK, my father got sick. I wish to stay in Sydney, bad timing. I wish to stay in Solo Indonesia, the door didn’t open. And after this, I wish to study abroad, God still says “wait”.
Understand my calling…
1992-96 I worked in a broadcasting company focus on preaching gospel to China.
1995 I was willing to go everywhere God wants me to go.
1996-97 I had a boyfriend who was a Hui converted to Christ. Through him I heard of “back to Jerusalem” movement.
1998 I was confirmed that I’m called to be a missionary focus on the M people.
Though that’s reasonable to link my four-years broadcasting experience with the M people calling, that means, my target audience should be the M people in China, God didn’t open the gate for me to go. After graduated from seminary, I ever thought of West Africa, Sydney immigrants, Indonesian, or France. (That’s really everywhere!)
At the same time, God let me know that my heart is for youth people.
I began to go to church at my 15 years old.
I was a volunteer in “Youth for Christ” for 1-2 years.
I tried to know youth people through working in McDonald’s.
My broadcasting program is focus on young students.
I studied “youth crimes and the resolution” course and got lots of inspiration. Then I became a volunteer letter writer to youth in jail.
I felt happy and easy when I was in Solo and worked with young staff.
Through regional youth conference I know lots of young people from different churches and I like to be with them.
I think God wants young people gather together for worship and praise, split on the street and campus for prayer and share the gospel. All these are beyond local church boundaries. And I commit myself now to make these things happened.
So, youth + M people + Chinese, I think that’s my calling.
That’s why when I heard of the vision for young generation missionaries by Jeason Ma I feel awe. After over ten years I finally understand my calling. Not begin until I am in China, with the M people; but already began from Taipei long time ago!
Give me Neihu and Lanzhou
I work in Neihu, one of twelve restricts in Taipei. I can see whole Neihu from a temple in the mountain. When I think of praying for Neihu, I’ll go there and ask God to give me what I’ve seen, the commercial buildings, the schools, the people. When I realized what my calling is, it reminds me I ever see another city from a mountain. I guess God wants me to get the people there also. That city is Lanzhou, my ex-boyfriend’s hometown.
On 1997, my boyfriend gave up to study abroad due to a GRE failure. He asked me to marry him and stay with him in Lanzhou. That time China didn’t wide open like today, especially in minority people area. I don’t think I could do any preaching or church planting there as a Taiwanese. That’s me, always think about ministry! That made me a cool person and I didn’t hesitate to reject him. Indeed, over one year we separated from China and Hong Kong, our relationship is loose. I didn’t like his attitude when facing a failure. I guess maybe I’ll say yes if he asks me now. Anyway, he is a father now, outside China.
It’s hard to make decistions…
after all the history...
Why I begin a blog and post all my newsletters from 1996 on it? I think that's a good chance to remind me how I walked with the Lord, how I be changed... And maybe that's a good platform for people to know me quickly and for you to discuss the faith, the changing... with me.
I need to say sorry for those who can't read Chinese. I'll try to use English first from now on.
I need to say sorry for those who can't read Chinese. I'll try to use English first from now on.
牧會第四年 The fourth year on local church - 2005 mar.
牧會第四年
最近陸續有些牧者和好朋友詢問起我的近況，一時之間也不知道如何回答。似乎自從讀到聖經箴言說「未曾聽完先回答的，便是他的愚昧和羞辱。」開始，我就習慣在群體中沈默，沈思。就用這封家書把我沈思後的結果向您報告吧！
從女士師變成單親媽媽
自己習慣獨來獨往很久了，在過往許多次宣教旅程中神也訓練我靠祂剛強壯膽。所以牧會對我而言，一開始的理解是一群健康的大人，神的軍隊，我們要為主打仗。而我也清楚知道自己的蒙召是宣教，所以我對牧會的期待是：藉由幾年的時間，帶領一群神的軍兵打仗，並且讓他們見到神普世宣教的心意。當他們預備好了，時機成熟，我便可以奉差遣起行，而神也會為他們預備另外的牧者來帶領他們。
不過，事實並非如此。這群大人中有些人很依賴，有些人很黏，大部分的人很不健康，最重要的是，我也不健康（獨來獨往=自我中心），而且我與大部分的人不健康的方向不同。真慘！隨著父親過世，我正努力地洗去承襲自父親的負面思想和情感壓抑，練習與媽媽像家人一般相處，並且抽出 “自己的” 時間陪家人和狗。於此同時，我也學習適應弟兄姊妹像羊群需要牧者，像孩子需要一隻可以牽著的手。雖然從未預期自己需要扮演如此的角色。
做了一個決定之後，自己就死了
去年底，教會三位尚有一年任期的執事相繼辭職，其中兩位都不住在內湖，自今年初開始，他們便就近到其他教會聚會了。在思想、解釋和處理所有相關人士的情緒中，自己也經歷了極大的低潮。這個教會前一任牧師辭職的時候，許多弟兄姊妹都有一種感覺：牧師就像父親，父親再怎麼受傷，也不應該拋下子女離開。所以我明白自己沒有選擇的餘地必須留下來。但留下來可以做什麼呢？我也不知道。
去年底，印尼Solo教會的牧師忽然邀請我去協助他們教會開展華語廣播和電視工作，為期半年。收到這封電郵，我就大哭了一場。當然，我還是沒去。（“父阿！你若願意，就把這杯撤去；然而不要成就我的意思，只要成就你的意思。”路加福音22:42）
幾週前，一位姊妹提醒我思想自己是否有愛，我想了想，要預備年節禮品給會友的家人，要探訪，我做了，但自己並沒有任何感覺。對我而言，我所做的是「應該」「必須」做的事，就像我放棄去Solo的機會一樣。這樣有愛嗎？我才明白自己在做了一個決定之後，就死了。我發現自己可以明白前一任牧師辭職的理由，也開始懷疑留下來是不是唯一的選擇。
但在此時，我也得到兩種亮光（還是突發奇想？！）：一，耶穌死了之後三天就復活了，也許我也快復活了吧！二，做「應該」做的事本身就是出於愛。這裡的愛指的不是感覺，而是責任與委身。帶著這兩點亮光，我繼續做起「應該」做的事，也期待早日「復活」。
進入神的命定
宣道會的英文名字中有個alliance，是與人結盟、聯合的意思。我也發現神使用我在地區教會的聯合上。社區出現了需要幫助的家庭，我邀請鄰近的牧者去探訪；感受到其他堂會的需要，我嘗試為他們代禱守望；也有牧者找我協助他釐清問題和思考應對之道…
剛來內湖堂的時候，有人問我擔任教會的堂主任有什麼特別的使命？我當時的感動就是：與地區的眾牧者一同尋求神在這個地區的心意。所以對聯禱會和其他教會的投入，也是一件「必須」做的事，不求回報。但神真在本地區的合一上成就了許多事，而我們教會也在其中獲益良多，蒙受祝福。
此外，本堂一位執事也於去年底替補成為宣道會青年部的主責同工，雖然任期只有一年，但四月初本堂將協助舉辦宣道會北區青年的春令會，我負責節目設計和信息。感謝神，縱使教會看起來風雨飄搖，但祂仍然使用。
最近陸續有些牧者和好朋友詢問起我的近況，一時之間也不知道如何回答。似乎自從讀到聖經箴言說「未曾聽完先回答的，便是他的愚昧和羞辱。」開始，我就習慣在群體中沈默，沈思。就用這封家書把我沈思後的結果向您報告吧！
從女士師變成單親媽媽
自己習慣獨來獨往很久了，在過往許多次宣教旅程中神也訓練我靠祂剛強壯膽。所以牧會對我而言，一開始的理解是一群健康的大人，神的軍隊，我們要為主打仗。而我也清楚知道自己的蒙召是宣教，所以我對牧會的期待是：藉由幾年的時間，帶領一群神的軍兵打仗，並且讓他們見到神普世宣教的心意。當他們預備好了，時機成熟，我便可以奉差遣起行，而神也會為他們預備另外的牧者來帶領他們。
不過，事實並非如此。這群大人中有些人很依賴，有些人很黏，大部分的人很不健康，最重要的是，我也不健康（獨來獨往=自我中心），而且我與大部分的人不健康的方向不同。真慘！隨著父親過世，我正努力地洗去承襲自父親的負面思想和情感壓抑，練習與媽媽像家人一般相處，並且抽出 “自己的” 時間陪家人和狗。於此同時，我也學習適應弟兄姊妹像羊群需要牧者，像孩子需要一隻可以牽著的手。雖然從未預期自己需要扮演如此的角色。
做了一個決定之後，自己就死了
去年底，教會三位尚有一年任期的執事相繼辭職，其中兩位都不住在內湖，自今年初開始，他們便就近到其他教會聚會了。在思想、解釋和處理所有相關人士的情緒中，自己也經歷了極大的低潮。這個教會前一任牧師辭職的時候，許多弟兄姊妹都有一種感覺：牧師就像父親，父親再怎麼受傷，也不應該拋下子女離開。所以我明白自己沒有選擇的餘地必須留下來。但留下來可以做什麼呢？我也不知道。
去年底，印尼Solo教會的牧師忽然邀請我去協助他們教會開展華語廣播和電視工作，為期半年。收到這封電郵，我就大哭了一場。當然，我還是沒去。（“父阿！你若願意，就把這杯撤去；然而不要成就我的意思，只要成就你的意思。”路加福音22:42）
幾週前，一位姊妹提醒我思想自己是否有愛，我想了想，要預備年節禮品給會友的家人，要探訪，我做了，但自己並沒有任何感覺。對我而言，我所做的是「應該」「必須」做的事，就像我放棄去Solo的機會一樣。這樣有愛嗎？我才明白自己在做了一個決定之後，就死了。我發現自己可以明白前一任牧師辭職的理由，也開始懷疑留下來是不是唯一的選擇。
但在此時，我也得到兩種亮光（還是突發奇想？！）：一，耶穌死了之後三天就復活了，也許我也快復活了吧！二，做「應該」做的事本身就是出於愛。這裡的愛指的不是感覺，而是責任與委身。帶著這兩點亮光，我繼續做起「應該」做的事，也期待早日「復活」。
進入神的命定
宣道會的英文名字中有個alliance，是與人結盟、聯合的意思。我也發現神使用我在地區教會的聯合上。社區出現了需要幫助的家庭，我邀請鄰近的牧者去探訪；感受到其他堂會的需要，我嘗試為他們代禱守望；也有牧者找我協助他釐清問題和思考應對之道…
剛來內湖堂的時候，有人問我擔任教會的堂主任有什麼特別的使命？我當時的感動就是：與地區的眾牧者一同尋求神在這個地區的心意。所以對聯禱會和其他教會的投入，也是一件「必須」做的事，不求回報。但神真在本地區的合一上成就了許多事，而我們教會也在其中獲益良多，蒙受祝福。
此外，本堂一位執事也於去年底替補成為宣道會青年部的主責同工，雖然任期只有一年，但四月初本堂將協助舉辦宣道會北區青年的春令會，我負責節目設計和信息。感謝神，縱使教會看起來風雨飄搖，但祂仍然使用。
Another country - after Solo visitation on 2004 summer
另一個家鄉
感謝神，由印尼回台北之後原本應該忙於青少年營會和參加醫治釋放訓練特會，結果在結束青少年營會後因為颱風放了兩天假，使我有機會在家裡向您報告這段日子以來的變化。
尋訪另一個家鄉
在今年初就計畫於暑假期間安排一個月的短宣訪問，目的是尋求未來宣教地點、協助教會培養宣教異象，以及三年後前往事奉工場。在牧會三年後，執事會許可我放下教會事務一個月，實屬難得，尤其是我們教會只有我一個全職同工。
年初時還為著父親的病況不穩而對這趟旅程持保留態度，但在父親三月底過世、五月中與大直內湖區牧者前往印尼學習追求之後，暑假的短宣之旅遂變得豁然開朗。於是我在七月23日抵達雅加達，八月1日抵達中爪哇第三大城Solo，八月20日回台北。
對印尼的認識不深，只在五年前去過雅加達，但很巧的是五月去Solo時遇到五年前在雅加達認識的牧師，所以這次有機會在雅加達停留，進入Niko牧師的廿四小時禱告塔，也探訪認識當地的華人。
不過，我對Solo卻有十分不同的情感。上次離開Solo，我在登上往雅加達的飛機時，產生了對這個城市的不捨。那時我覺得特別，因為我不曾這麼快（人還沒離開）開始想念一個地方。這次我停留了雅加達，也曾造訪日惹（中爪哇第二大城），但還是對Solo情有獨鍾。對於一個在都市成長並且喜愛夜生活的我來說，又是另一項特別。
爪哇人，神的託付！？
我所拜訪的教會目前擁有一萬五千名會友，正朝向兩萬人的異象努力邁進。為了加速認識他們的生活和文化，我期待住在會友家裡，貼近他們的生活。原本以為會住在五月份有過數面之緣的其中一位華人的家中，但神卻為我預備了一個爪哇人的寄宿家庭，住在爪哇人集中的區域。經過二十天的相處，以英語和簡單印尼文，再加上比手劃腳，我與這位寡居的退休護士Bu Datik（Bu的意思是女士/媽媽），她的女傭，以及兩隻狗建立了不錯的友誼。她們常期待我能又學印尼語又學爪哇語，結果總是讓我更頭大。但我相信這是下次造訪Solo的功課。
抵達Solo的第一天晚上，教會同工就邀約我去看爪哇人的傳統戲劇，見到爪哇傳統的手鼓、鐵琴，產生出節奏清晰強烈的樂音，再配上尖細嫵媚的女聲，十分有趣。第八天晚上，我與Bu Datik一同參加住宅附近爪哇人的婚宴。坐在賓客席，我們一面等待上菜，一面見到新人的親戚陸續與新人合影。我開始思索這麼多有趣新奇的經驗，是否意味著神引導我以爪哇人為我未來服事的群體？就我在Solo接觸的觀察，他們有著深色的皮膚、濃密的睫毛、音樂天分極高、節奏感強烈。在整體經濟現況中，他們較華人居於劣勢，但沒有嫉妒對抗的心態。這些條件都十分吸引我。在Solo的爪哇人絕大部分信仰回教，但參雜著泛靈思想，向他們傳福音似乎不需對回教基本教義認識太過清楚。1998年暴亂之後，Solo有大批爪哇人歸主，受到的逼迫並不強烈，目前仍是向他們傳福音的大好時機。
幾位Solo教會的同工和Bu Datik詢問我何時還會再去，我的心迫切希望能夠盡快再去，甚至已經夢到自己回到Solo。不過，我仍需要尋求神在宣教方向上更清楚的印證和引導。
個別宣教課程
自己之前曾經在香港生活兩年，獨自前往中國大陸三次，在雪梨短宣三個月，不過，這次在Solo的宣教體驗仍然相當值得紀錄。
這是第一次我遇到語言不通的問題，所申請的國際駕照也沒有印尼文說明，為了避免給教會帶來困擾，我成為一個有口不能說，有耳不能聽，有手有腳卻始終需要司機和翻譯的人。在那裡我嘗試製作一個45分鐘的普通話教學廣播節目，但因為翻譯人才難尋，最後只得透過英語間接翻譯才得以完成，如果早知這項工程之艱鉅，恐怕不敢嘗試。語言不通會使人成為nobody、成為需要麻煩別人的人，也更顯出自己獨自在異鄉的孤單。
這也是第一次我遇到飲食和生活上的困難。當地許多食物是油炸之後食用，食用的時候很可能已經冷掉了。於是我發現我的口樂意認同當地人，但我的胃腸卻不配合。蚊子是另一項考驗，剛去的幾天幾乎無法睡，因為沒有紗窗，也沒有蚊帳。在台灣用慣了電蚊香的我實在不適應和殺蟲劑或蚊香共處一室（事實上效果也十分有限），逼得我趕緊發簡訊回台灣請求代禱。
在遭遇這些事情的過程中，我似乎隱約理解一種困境：你很愛這裡的人事物，但你的身體卻不為你效力，環境也拒絕你、非但不接受你的愛還反過來攻擊抵擋你。在禱告中我學習不依自己的理性分析解決問題，而是禱告、請求代禱、等候神。我幾乎每兩三天就遭遇一次打擊，逼使我哭倒在神面前。但在某天的聚會敬拜中，我感覺這一次次的哭求其實正是神所要求於我的，在神面前單純討祂喜悅、愛祂所愛的心。事實上，在Solo的時候，這也是我唯一可以獻給主的。
這項宣教課程使我更明白耶穌基督和宣教前輩們曾經走過的路，和神對我的期許與託付。
我及教會領受的祝福
上次來Solo之後，我深埋心底的傷痛得到醫治釋放，這次造訪Solo時得到印證。這次我可以自由地投入敬拜，旁若無人，跳舞時的腳步也不覺得沈重。上次我不懂得欣賞某位牧者，這次我十分喜歡他並且請求他為我祝福。
在那裡，我也與教會幾位年輕同工成為好朋友，彷彿自己也年輕了不少，回到台北也發現教會同工們熱心承接教會責任，可以獨當一面。
我知道神正在內湖做奇妙的事，我們教會也有幸置身其中。透過這次旅程對於教會未來發展方向和策略更有頭緒，也期待見證 神將在內湖的復興作為。話雖如此，仍然請求您多為台灣、多為教會代禱，因為我們仍然需要信心和勇氣，才能做好承接復興的預備，在仇敵攻擊攪擾時能夠站立得穩，並忍耐等候將臨的大收割。
個人和家人需要
獨自在家一個月，對失去父親不到半年的母親而言並不容易，如今見我返台後仍然想著再去，心中滋味實在難以言喻。請為母親早日信主代禱，也盼望下次前往宣教地時邀她同行。
在西雅圖讀書的二哥九月初返台休假，將和大哥前往湖南老家「尋根探源」。他們兩家人都尚未認識神，請為未來的相聚和他們的旅程代禱。
至於我嘛，回到台北，心情也還在調適階段。一方面捨不得離開Solo的屬靈空氣和敬拜品質，同時又籌畫著多項教會事工的改革，戰戰兢兢。許多事放在心中，等候著去傳遞、推動、召聚動員、付諸實施，感覺格外孤單。仍然相信「那人獨居不好」，也盼望前往外地宣教時是兩人同行，請代禱，也歡迎代為留意靈裡火熱、愛主且有宣教負擔的人選。
Terima Kasih Tuhan (Thank God), after coming back from Indonesia I was supposed to be busy with a youth camp and a conference on healing and deliverance. But a typhoon brought me two holidays, allowing me to have the opportunity to prepare a newsletter about recent events.
Looking for another country
Early this year, I planned a one-month trip to visit some mission fields, not only to seek my mission location for the future, but also to help my church to build up a vision for missions outside Taiwan. After being a pastor in the church for only three years, it’s not easy to get the deacon board approval for a one-month leave with payment and additional ministry support, especially as up till now, I have been the only full-time worker in my church.
During January I wondered if I could make it because my father’s cancer was getting worse. But in late March Dad passed away, and in May I joined the other pastors from Neihu to visit Solo, Indonesia. After this, the trip and the place seemed to be more and more clear. So I arrived in Jakarta on July 23, and then on August 1, went on to Solo, which is the third largest city in Middle Java. I came back to Taipei on Aug. 20.
Having only previously visited Jakarta once, in 1999, I did not have any strong impressions of Indonesia. But when I visited Solo in May, I saw pastor Li, whom I had met in 1999. So this time I stayed at his church and visited the 24-hour prayer tower in Gajah Mada, and did some visitation with the local Chinese people.
Nevertheless, I found that I had a special feeling about the city Solo. During my May visit, when I boarded the plane from Solo to back to Jakarta, I very quickly began to miss the place. This was the first time that I had started to miss a place so quickly upon leaving, and the feeling surprised me. This summer, even though I stayed in Jakarta, and visited Yogyakarta, the second biggest city in Middle Java, I still liked Solo the most. Again this feeling surprised me, because I had grown up in a metropolitan area, and have always liked to have night activities.
The Javanese, the people God is entrusting to me!?
The church I visited in Solo (GBI-Keluarga Allah) has 15,000 church members, and they are have a vision to expand to 20,000 members. In order to learn more quickly about their life style and culture, I had expected to stay with some church members. Before I arrived I had assumed that I would stay with one of the Chinese whom I had met in May. But indeed God prepared a Javanese home-stay in a Javanese area. After twenty days of living together, through English, simple Bahasa (the official language of Indonesia) and body language, I made friends with Mrs. Datik, a retired nurse, her maid Tari, and her two dogs. They expected me to learn both Bahasa and Javanese, but this made me even more confused. I believe next time when I visit Solo, I’ll need to learn the language.
On my first day in Solo, the staff of the children’s department invited me to watch a traditional Javanese opera. I saw Javanese traditional hand drums and iron percussion which can make a strong and clear rhythm. It made a very interesting accompaniment to the soft, high and delicate female voice. On the eighth night, Mrs. Datik and I attended a Javanese wedding near to my home-stay. Sitting on the guest seat, we waited for the meal and saw many relatives of the new couple have pictures taken with them. I began to think about these interesting and fun experiences. Did this mean that God would lead me to stay with the Javanese in the future, and that they would be my target people? According to my observations, they have dark skin, beautiful eyelashes, good musical talent, and a strong sense of rhythm. Socially, they are both economically and educationally lower than the local Chinese. But they are not jealous or aggressive towards the rich. All of these factors attracted me. Most Javanese in Solo are folk Muslims; I don’t need to do any thorough research about the Islam doctrines in advance. After the great riot of 1998, many Javanese in Solo converted to Christianity and they were not seriously persecuted. There are still many good opportunities to reach them now.
Some of the church staff and Mrs. Datik asked me when I’ll go back there again. In my heart the answer is “As soon as possible.” And in fact I’ve already dreamed of going back. But I need to seek God’s further confirmation and guidance.
Personal mission course
I spent two years in Hong Kong, visited mainland China three times by myself, and stayed in Sydney for three months. However, my trip to Solo taught me much about missions.
It’s the first time that I experienced serious communication problems. I had applied for an international traffic license to drive motorcycles and cars. But there was no Indonesian translation on it. So, in Solo I was a person with a mouth who could not speak, with ears that could not listen, and with hands and legs, but I still needed drivers and translators. I tried to make a 45 minute Mandarin teaching radio program. However, it was hard to find a translator. Finally, most of it needed to be translated into English first before I could find help. If I had known ahead of time that I would encounter these problems, maybe I would not have attempted to do the radio program. The language barrier causes a person to become a “nobody”, and in constant need of help from others. It makes one feel terribly lonely in a new country.
And it’s the first time also that I encountered problems with food and living. Lots of fried food was already cold when we ate it. So my mouth was willing to join the local people but my stomach wasn’t. Another problem was the mosquitoes. Javanese houses don’t have screen windows and people there don’t use mosquito curtains. I felt like every mosquito was interested in this new visitor and I could hardly fall asleep during the first week. Finally I used my mobile phone to send a prayer request back to Taipei by text message.
Through these experiences, I seemed to have a greater understanding of the following predicament: you love a certain place, and a certain people, but your body doesn’t work for you, and the environment also works against you. After prayer, I learned not to analyze or solve problems by reason, but by praying, asking for intercession, and waiting on God. Unlike my former experiences, I met problems nearly every two or three days. All these pushed me to look for God and to cry out before Him. But one day when I was worshipping God during the church service, I sensed that all the crying out was exactly what God was asking of me, a pure heart willing to love what He loves and to please Him. In fact, it was the only thing I could dedicate to the Lord while in Solo.
This mission experience made me understand more about what Jesus Christ had gone through, and what missionaries have to go through, and what God expects of me and entrusts to me.
The blessings that my church and I received
The first time I visited Solo, I received inner healing. This fact was confirmed during the second trip. I could join the in the worship and praise freely as if I was by myself, and I could dance naturally instead of with heavy steps. During my first visit, I didn’t like a certain pastor, but this time I appreciated him and asked for his blessings.
And the young church staff there became my good friends and supporters. They helped me to feel younger. When I came back to Taipei, I found that while I was gone, my church members had looked after the church, and taken their responsibilities seriously. That was another blessing from my trip.
I know God is doing marvelous things in the Neihu churches. What a blessing to be a part of it! As a result of the trip I gained more insights concerning the church’s future direction and strategies. And I expect to be a witness of God’s revival in Neihu. Despite this, we still need your prayers for Taiwan, and for the churches here, because we need faith and courage to prepare for the revival, to stand firm when getting attacked from the enemies, and to wait patiently for the coming harvest.
Personal and family needs
Mom just became a widow less than six months ago. It was not easy for her to be home alone for one month. It is hard for her to accept the fact that I wish to go back to Solo in the near future. Please pray for my mother to receive God’s salvation soon. And maybe next time when I have a mission trip she can go with me.
My second brother came home from Seattle in September. He and my first brother went to Hunan, where Dad was born. They learned new things about our family through this trip. My two brothers and their families are not Christians yet. Please pray for them.
As for me, I’m still adjusting to feeling torn between two places. On the one hand I miss the spiritual atmosphere and worship quality in Solo, but on the other hand I’m planning many new church ministries here. Lots of things are on my heart, waiting to be communicated, promoted and realized. This makes me feel lonely. I still believe “it’s not good for a woman to be alone”, and hope to have someone with me when I’m sent out to the mission field. I believe that God has someone prepared already. Please pray for me to get ready also.
感謝神，由印尼回台北之後原本應該忙於青少年營會和參加醫治釋放訓練特會，結果在結束青少年營會後因為颱風放了兩天假，使我有機會在家裡向您報告這段日子以來的變化。
尋訪另一個家鄉
在今年初就計畫於暑假期間安排一個月的短宣訪問，目的是尋求未來宣教地點、協助教會培養宣教異象，以及三年後前往事奉工場。在牧會三年後，執事會許可我放下教會事務一個月，實屬難得，尤其是我們教會只有我一個全職同工。
年初時還為著父親的病況不穩而對這趟旅程持保留態度，但在父親三月底過世、五月中與大直內湖區牧者前往印尼學習追求之後，暑假的短宣之旅遂變得豁然開朗。於是我在七月23日抵達雅加達，八月1日抵達中爪哇第三大城Solo，八月20日回台北。
對印尼的認識不深，只在五年前去過雅加達，但很巧的是五月去Solo時遇到五年前在雅加達認識的牧師，所以這次有機會在雅加達停留，進入Niko牧師的廿四小時禱告塔，也探訪認識當地的華人。
不過，我對Solo卻有十分不同的情感。上次離開Solo，我在登上往雅加達的飛機時，產生了對這個城市的不捨。那時我覺得特別，因為我不曾這麼快（人還沒離開）開始想念一個地方。這次我停留了雅加達，也曾造訪日惹（中爪哇第二大城），但還是對Solo情有獨鍾。對於一個在都市成長並且喜愛夜生活的我來說，又是另一項特別。
爪哇人，神的託付！？
我所拜訪的教會目前擁有一萬五千名會友，正朝向兩萬人的異象努力邁進。為了加速認識他們的生活和文化，我期待住在會友家裡，貼近他們的生活。原本以為會住在五月份有過數面之緣的其中一位華人的家中，但神卻為我預備了一個爪哇人的寄宿家庭，住在爪哇人集中的區域。經過二十天的相處，以英語和簡單印尼文，再加上比手劃腳，我與這位寡居的退休護士Bu Datik（Bu的意思是女士/媽媽），她的女傭，以及兩隻狗建立了不錯的友誼。她們常期待我能又學印尼語又學爪哇語，結果總是讓我更頭大。但我相信這是下次造訪Solo的功課。
抵達Solo的第一天晚上，教會同工就邀約我去看爪哇人的傳統戲劇，見到爪哇傳統的手鼓、鐵琴，產生出節奏清晰強烈的樂音，再配上尖細嫵媚的女聲，十分有趣。第八天晚上，我與Bu Datik一同參加住宅附近爪哇人的婚宴。坐在賓客席，我們一面等待上菜，一面見到新人的親戚陸續與新人合影。我開始思索這麼多有趣新奇的經驗，是否意味著神引導我以爪哇人為我未來服事的群體？就我在Solo接觸的觀察，他們有著深色的皮膚、濃密的睫毛、音樂天分極高、節奏感強烈。在整體經濟現況中，他們較華人居於劣勢，但沒有嫉妒對抗的心態。這些條件都十分吸引我。在Solo的爪哇人絕大部分信仰回教，但參雜著泛靈思想，向他們傳福音似乎不需對回教基本教義認識太過清楚。1998年暴亂之後，Solo有大批爪哇人歸主，受到的逼迫並不強烈，目前仍是向他們傳福音的大好時機。
幾位Solo教會的同工和Bu Datik詢問我何時還會再去，我的心迫切希望能夠盡快再去，甚至已經夢到自己回到Solo。不過，我仍需要尋求神在宣教方向上更清楚的印證和引導。
個別宣教課程
自己之前曾經在香港生活兩年，獨自前往中國大陸三次，在雪梨短宣三個月，不過，這次在Solo的宣教體驗仍然相當值得紀錄。
這是第一次我遇到語言不通的問題，所申請的國際駕照也沒有印尼文說明，為了避免給教會帶來困擾，我成為一個有口不能說，有耳不能聽，有手有腳卻始終需要司機和翻譯的人。在那裡我嘗試製作一個45分鐘的普通話教學廣播節目，但因為翻譯人才難尋，最後只得透過英語間接翻譯才得以完成，如果早知這項工程之艱鉅，恐怕不敢嘗試。語言不通會使人成為nobody、成為需要麻煩別人的人，也更顯出自己獨自在異鄉的孤單。
這也是第一次我遇到飲食和生活上的困難。當地許多食物是油炸之後食用，食用的時候很可能已經冷掉了。於是我發現我的口樂意認同當地人，但我的胃腸卻不配合。蚊子是另一項考驗，剛去的幾天幾乎無法睡，因為沒有紗窗，也沒有蚊帳。在台灣用慣了電蚊香的我實在不適應和殺蟲劑或蚊香共處一室（事實上效果也十分有限），逼得我趕緊發簡訊回台灣請求代禱。
在遭遇這些事情的過程中，我似乎隱約理解一種困境：你很愛這裡的人事物，但你的身體卻不為你效力，環境也拒絕你、非但不接受你的愛還反過來攻擊抵擋你。在禱告中我學習不依自己的理性分析解決問題，而是禱告、請求代禱、等候神。我幾乎每兩三天就遭遇一次打擊，逼使我哭倒在神面前。但在某天的聚會敬拜中，我感覺這一次次的哭求其實正是神所要求於我的，在神面前單純討祂喜悅、愛祂所愛的心。事實上，在Solo的時候，這也是我唯一可以獻給主的。
這項宣教課程使我更明白耶穌基督和宣教前輩們曾經走過的路，和神對我的期許與託付。
我及教會領受的祝福
上次來Solo之後，我深埋心底的傷痛得到醫治釋放，這次造訪Solo時得到印證。這次我可以自由地投入敬拜，旁若無人，跳舞時的腳步也不覺得沈重。上次我不懂得欣賞某位牧者，這次我十分喜歡他並且請求他為我祝福。
在那裡，我也與教會幾位年輕同工成為好朋友，彷彿自己也年輕了不少，回到台北也發現教會同工們熱心承接教會責任，可以獨當一面。
我知道神正在內湖做奇妙的事，我們教會也有幸置身其中。透過這次旅程對於教會未來發展方向和策略更有頭緒，也期待見證 神將在內湖的復興作為。話雖如此，仍然請求您多為台灣、多為教會代禱，因為我們仍然需要信心和勇氣，才能做好承接復興的預備，在仇敵攻擊攪擾時能夠站立得穩，並忍耐等候將臨的大收割。
個人和家人需要
獨自在家一個月，對失去父親不到半年的母親而言並不容易，如今見我返台後仍然想著再去，心中滋味實在難以言喻。請為母親早日信主代禱，也盼望下次前往宣教地時邀她同行。
在西雅圖讀書的二哥九月初返台休假，將和大哥前往湖南老家「尋根探源」。他們兩家人都尚未認識神，請為未來的相聚和他們的旅程代禱。
至於我嘛，回到台北，心情也還在調適階段。一方面捨不得離開Solo的屬靈空氣和敬拜品質，同時又籌畫著多項教會事工的改革，戰戰兢兢。許多事放在心中，等候著去傳遞、推動、召聚動員、付諸實施，感覺格外孤單。仍然相信「那人獨居不好」，也盼望前往外地宣教時是兩人同行，請代禱，也歡迎代為留意靈裡火熱、愛主且有宣教負擔的人選。
Terima Kasih Tuhan (Thank God), after coming back from Indonesia I was supposed to be busy with a youth camp and a conference on healing and deliverance. But a typhoon brought me two holidays, allowing me to have the opportunity to prepare a newsletter about recent events.
Looking for another country
Early this year, I planned a one-month trip to visit some mission fields, not only to seek my mission location for the future, but also to help my church to build up a vision for missions outside Taiwan. After being a pastor in the church for only three years, it’s not easy to get the deacon board approval for a one-month leave with payment and additional ministry support, especially as up till now, I have been the only full-time worker in my church.
During January I wondered if I could make it because my father’s cancer was getting worse. But in late March Dad passed away, and in May I joined the other pastors from Neihu to visit Solo, Indonesia. After this, the trip and the place seemed to be more and more clear. So I arrived in Jakarta on July 23, and then on August 1, went on to Solo, which is the third largest city in Middle Java. I came back to Taipei on Aug. 20.
Having only previously visited Jakarta once, in 1999, I did not have any strong impressions of Indonesia. But when I visited Solo in May, I saw pastor Li, whom I had met in 1999. So this time I stayed at his church and visited the 24-hour prayer tower in Gajah Mada, and did some visitation with the local Chinese people.
Nevertheless, I found that I had a special feeling about the city Solo. During my May visit, when I boarded the plane from Solo to back to Jakarta, I very quickly began to miss the place. This was the first time that I had started to miss a place so quickly upon leaving, and the feeling surprised me. This summer, even though I stayed in Jakarta, and visited Yogyakarta, the second biggest city in Middle Java, I still liked Solo the most. Again this feeling surprised me, because I had grown up in a metropolitan area, and have always liked to have night activities.
The Javanese, the people God is entrusting to me!?
The church I visited in Solo (GBI-Keluarga Allah) has 15,000 church members, and they are have a vision to expand to 20,000 members. In order to learn more quickly about their life style and culture, I had expected to stay with some church members. Before I arrived I had assumed that I would stay with one of the Chinese whom I had met in May. But indeed God prepared a Javanese home-stay in a Javanese area. After twenty days of living together, through English, simple Bahasa (the official language of Indonesia) and body language, I made friends with Mrs. Datik, a retired nurse, her maid Tari, and her two dogs. They expected me to learn both Bahasa and Javanese, but this made me even more confused. I believe next time when I visit Solo, I’ll need to learn the language.
On my first day in Solo, the staff of the children’s department invited me to watch a traditional Javanese opera. I saw Javanese traditional hand drums and iron percussion which can make a strong and clear rhythm. It made a very interesting accompaniment to the soft, high and delicate female voice. On the eighth night, Mrs. Datik and I attended a Javanese wedding near to my home-stay. Sitting on the guest seat, we waited for the meal and saw many relatives of the new couple have pictures taken with them. I began to think about these interesting and fun experiences. Did this mean that God would lead me to stay with the Javanese in the future, and that they would be my target people? According to my observations, they have dark skin, beautiful eyelashes, good musical talent, and a strong sense of rhythm. Socially, they are both economically and educationally lower than the local Chinese. But they are not jealous or aggressive towards the rich. All of these factors attracted me. Most Javanese in Solo are folk Muslims; I don’t need to do any thorough research about the Islam doctrines in advance. After the great riot of 1998, many Javanese in Solo converted to Christianity and they were not seriously persecuted. There are still many good opportunities to reach them now.
Some of the church staff and Mrs. Datik asked me when I’ll go back there again. In my heart the answer is “As soon as possible.” And in fact I’ve already dreamed of going back. But I need to seek God’s further confirmation and guidance.
Personal mission course
I spent two years in Hong Kong, visited mainland China three times by myself, and stayed in Sydney for three months. However, my trip to Solo taught me much about missions.
It’s the first time that I experienced serious communication problems. I had applied for an international traffic license to drive motorcycles and cars. But there was no Indonesian translation on it. So, in Solo I was a person with a mouth who could not speak, with ears that could not listen, and with hands and legs, but I still needed drivers and translators. I tried to make a 45 minute Mandarin teaching radio program. However, it was hard to find a translator. Finally, most of it needed to be translated into English first before I could find help. If I had known ahead of time that I would encounter these problems, maybe I would not have attempted to do the radio program. The language barrier causes a person to become a “nobody”, and in constant need of help from others. It makes one feel terribly lonely in a new country.
And it’s the first time also that I encountered problems with food and living. Lots of fried food was already cold when we ate it. So my mouth was willing to join the local people but my stomach wasn’t. Another problem was the mosquitoes. Javanese houses don’t have screen windows and people there don’t use mosquito curtains. I felt like every mosquito was interested in this new visitor and I could hardly fall asleep during the first week. Finally I used my mobile phone to send a prayer request back to Taipei by text message.
Through these experiences, I seemed to have a greater understanding of the following predicament: you love a certain place, and a certain people, but your body doesn’t work for you, and the environment also works against you. After prayer, I learned not to analyze or solve problems by reason, but by praying, asking for intercession, and waiting on God. Unlike my former experiences, I met problems nearly every two or three days. All these pushed me to look for God and to cry out before Him. But one day when I was worshipping God during the church service, I sensed that all the crying out was exactly what God was asking of me, a pure heart willing to love what He loves and to please Him. In fact, it was the only thing I could dedicate to the Lord while in Solo.
This mission experience made me understand more about what Jesus Christ had gone through, and what missionaries have to go through, and what God expects of me and entrusts to me.
The blessings that my church and I received
The first time I visited Solo, I received inner healing. This fact was confirmed during the second trip. I could join the in the worship and praise freely as if I was by myself, and I could dance naturally instead of with heavy steps. During my first visit, I didn’t like a certain pastor, but this time I appreciated him and asked for his blessings.
And the young church staff there became my good friends and supporters. They helped me to feel younger. When I came back to Taipei, I found that while I was gone, my church members had looked after the church, and taken their responsibilities seriously. That was another blessing from my trip.
I know God is doing marvelous things in the Neihu churches. What a blessing to be a part of it! As a result of the trip I gained more insights concerning the church’s future direction and strategies. And I expect to be a witness of God’s revival in Neihu. Despite this, we still need your prayers for Taiwan, and for the churches here, because we need faith and courage to prepare for the revival, to stand firm when getting attacked from the enemies, and to wait patiently for the coming harvest.
Personal and family needs
Mom just became a widow less than six months ago. It was not easy for her to be home alone for one month. It is hard for her to accept the fact that I wish to go back to Solo in the near future. Please pray for my mother to receive God’s salvation soon. And maybe next time when I have a mission trip she can go with me.
My second brother came home from Seattle in September. He and my first brother went to Hunan, where Dad was born. They learned new things about our family through this trip. My two brothers and their families are not Christians yet. Please pray for them.
As for me, I’m still adjusting to feeling torn between two places. On the one hand I miss the spiritual atmosphere and worship quality in Solo, but on the other hand I’m planning many new church ministries here. Lots of things are on my heart, waiting to be communicated, promoted and realized. This makes me feel lonely. I still believe “it’s not good for a woman to be alone”, and hope to have someone with me when I’m sent out to the mission field. I believe that God has someone prepared already. Please pray for me to get ready also.
to go or not to go... On 2004 Feb.
再等三章
誠實又喜歡昭告天下的人，改變主意了。在上一封信中我說到自己即將預備加入差會，但之後發生的許多不容易解釋的改變，所以照樣要再次昭告天下。還好，約翰在約翰福音中寫了一句「起來，我們走吧」之後，又等了三章才說到耶穌真的走了。所以，我就用這個例子給自己找個改變主意的理由吧！
承認自己的軟弱
我一直以為基督徒該對神指示的一切說「是」。但這其中有一些困難，像是我們如果誤解了神的心意怎麼辦（自己之前常犯這個毛病），或是為了這個「應該」而忽略了自己真實的感覺和軟弱。再說，這種有點律法意味的觀念比較多是出於權柄和義務的關係，而不是基於愛。當我以為自己該申請差會預備出發的時候，我軟弱了。（其實這算是我的第二次軟弱，在第一次軟弱中我憑信心相信父母的身體和信仰可以交托給主。）我開始想念在台北的感覺，擔心自己無法處理好孤單的單身生活和工作上的沮喪。我察覺到自己不大對勁，於是休假幾天到一處禱告山去退修，希望先重整自己與神的關係和生活秩序，並且思想服事對我的意義。
在這當中我明白了自己對神並不是毫無保留的順服，包括在感情上和理性上。感謝神因為祂比我自己還認識我，而在這次決定的變更中祂教我認清自己的限制。我承認自己的軟弱，也決定暫緩申請差會，直到自己在這件事上得到更明確的指引並且有信心去回應為止。所以目前我所預備的是在宣道會內湖堂繼續三年的事奉。
地上的成功不等於天上的成功
學習接納自己軟弱之後的改變就是我不能再用「應該」要求別人。我明白自己與他人都同樣需要神的恩典，而非審判。無人可以在審判時站立得住。這使我比以前容易珍惜身邊的人，包括家人，朋友和同工。我常習慣性的要求他們，又對他們失望，但他們卻給予我極大的支持和接納。以往我常忽視自己的感覺，我對自己和他人常是嚴厲的，使得我無法體會恩典和恩慈，如今我較常感到蒙恩。神透過這段日子教導我恩典和謙卑，並要我以此作為奔行天路的保護和避難所。
如今我看自己服事的教會是好而蒙福的。透過信心的眼睛我知道神會以祂的方式在這個教會做奇妙的事，教會成長的快慢不在我的手裡。我不需要「為」神做任何事，事實上我也沒有這個能力。想法的改變使得我的擔子變得輕省，我知道自己一點也不行，而神也不需要我行，因為祂是行的。我只需要緊緊跟隨祂，與祂連結。這樣的體認真是好！地上的成功不等於天上的成功。
父親的決志
父親的淋巴癌在去年暑假三次入院之後就加劇，12月開始，腋下的腫瘤已經漲大到像顆300元的大蘋果，右手也腫痛無法活動。這其間感謝許多海內外的肢體和牧者為父親禱告，他也曾樂意讀聖經，並且自己開聲禱告求醫治，但之後沒有立即的神蹟發生，就似乎又走回倚靠自己和醫藥的老路上。
農曆年前後連續12天到醫院去作放射線治療，剛開始腫瘤的確消了一點，但血液的品質也大幅下降，等血液補充得差不多時，腫瘤又猛烈起來。我眼看父親的身體已經衰殘，靈魂卻仍在沈睡，實在憂心，也把自己預見的危機誠實的寫出來，並持續為父親禱告。感謝神，今早與父親分享詩篇91篇，並談到人需要透過神明白自己生命的意義，使人生不只是責任，不滿足和追求得著虛幻的滿足。我感到神的同在和父親的謙卑，於是領他作了決志禱告，我說一句他跟著說一句。當禱告完時，我激動的流下淚來，我心裡明白這其中包含多少禱告的代價，也確知父親的名字已經被記在生命冊上。感謝神，祂是垂聽禱告的上帝！也感謝您的關心和代禱，主必記念。
Wait Three More Chapters
Several months have passed since the last newsletter, in which I shared that I was preparing for the mission field. But since then, many things have happened and there have been many changes, which are not easy to explain. That’s why I have hesitated to write another newsletter. But something has happened in my life that is similar to what happened in the Gospel of John chapter 14:31. Jesus said “Come now, let us leave.” But He did not leave until chapter 18. I’m using this example to “explain” why I have decided not to do missions for the time being.
Admit my weaknesses
For a long time I had the concept that Christians needed to always say “yes” to God, no matter what. But the problem with this concept is that we are liable to misunderstand God’s calling or instructions, or neglect our real feelings and weaknesses. Furthermore, this concept does not seem to be based on love, but instead on authority and obligation. During the time that I thought I should apply to a mission agency and prepare to be a missionary, I started to struggle with problems such as homesickness and loneliness. As a result, I decided to take several days off and hide myself in a quiet place where I could admit my weaknesses and talk to God about my problems.
I realized I couldn’t say “yes” to missions at this time because I was not ready. Praise God because He knows me more than I know myself. And He wishes to show me my limitations instead of wanting me to do something or be someone for Him. So I decided to put off applying to SIM for the time being. Instead, I’m preparing for three more years of ministry with CMA-Neihu church.
Earthly Success Is Not the Same as Heavenly Success
After that I began to accept myself as an ordinary person. I reminded myself not to push others and myself for some kind of standard, or for “what should be”. Then I was able to realize that we all need God’s grace instead of judgment. No one can face judgment and remain standing. Now it’s easier to appreciate people who aren’t like me. And I realize I have received so much support and acceptance from people I used to judge. When I neglected my feelings, I could not experience grace and kindness, now I am more knowledgeable in those areas and feel blessed. I know the importance of the lesson God has taught me about grace and humility, and I need to keep it as my protection and shelter during my entire Christian life.
Now if you ask about the situation in the church where I serve, I can say it is good and blessed. Through the eyes of faith I know God will do amazing things in His way. And the church will grow in His time, not mine. I don’t need to do anything FOR God and indeed I can’t. This realization has lightened my load. How wonderful it is to know I’m not strong at all and I don’t need to be. The Holy One is strong and I just need to connect with Him. Earthly success is not the same as heavenly success. .
My Dad has accepted the Lord!
Last summer Dad went to the hospital three times for his lymph cancer treatment. After that his tumors expanded rapidly. Many brothers, sisters and pastors, both here and overseas, prayed consistently for him. At one point he enjoyed reading the Bible, and even prayed by himself for his illness to be cured. But because the prayer wasn’t answered in the way that he wished, he gave up asking for God’s help and was in a low mood.
In January he went to the hospital for twelve days of radiation treatment. At first, his tumors started to shrink, but at the same time, his blood tests were not good. Then when his blood was replenished, his tumors grew rapidly also. I could see that Dad’s body was getting worse, but his spirit was still asleep. That made me worried. I wrote to him, honestly sharing my concerns for him, and kept praying for him. Praise God, this morning I shared Psalm 91 with him and said that human beings need to understand the meaning of life through God’s eyes. I told him that life is not about responsibility, dissatisfaction, and pursuing empty satisfaction. Then I sensed God’s presence and Dad’s humility. I asked Dad to pray with me, sentence by sentence. Then he asked Jesus to forgive his sins and to live in him. After he finished praying, I was moved and full of tears. I realized this moment had cost many hours and many peoples’ prayers, and my dad’s name had been written on the Book of Life. Praise God, who listens to our prayers! And thank you all very much for your concern and intercession.
Thanks for your concern and prayers.
May you experience God’s beauty and abundance more and more.
誠實又喜歡昭告天下的人，改變主意了。在上一封信中我說到自己即將預備加入差會，但之後發生的許多不容易解釋的改變，所以照樣要再次昭告天下。還好，約翰在約翰福音中寫了一句「起來，我們走吧」之後，又等了三章才說到耶穌真的走了。所以，我就用這個例子給自己找個改變主意的理由吧！
承認自己的軟弱
我一直以為基督徒該對神指示的一切說「是」。但這其中有一些困難，像是我們如果誤解了神的心意怎麼辦（自己之前常犯這個毛病），或是為了這個「應該」而忽略了自己真實的感覺和軟弱。再說，這種有點律法意味的觀念比較多是出於權柄和義務的關係，而不是基於愛。當我以為自己該申請差會預備出發的時候，我軟弱了。（其實這算是我的第二次軟弱，在第一次軟弱中我憑信心相信父母的身體和信仰可以交托給主。）我開始想念在台北的感覺，擔心自己無法處理好孤單的單身生活和工作上的沮喪。我察覺到自己不大對勁，於是休假幾天到一處禱告山去退修，希望先重整自己與神的關係和生活秩序，並且思想服事對我的意義。
在這當中我明白了自己對神並不是毫無保留的順服，包括在感情上和理性上。感謝神因為祂比我自己還認識我，而在這次決定的變更中祂教我認清自己的限制。我承認自己的軟弱，也決定暫緩申請差會，直到自己在這件事上得到更明確的指引並且有信心去回應為止。所以目前我所預備的是在宣道會內湖堂繼續三年的事奉。
地上的成功不等於天上的成功
學習接納自己軟弱之後的改變就是我不能再用「應該」要求別人。我明白自己與他人都同樣需要神的恩典，而非審判。無人可以在審判時站立得住。這使我比以前容易珍惜身邊的人，包括家人，朋友和同工。我常習慣性的要求他們，又對他們失望，但他們卻給予我極大的支持和接納。以往我常忽視自己的感覺，我對自己和他人常是嚴厲的，使得我無法體會恩典和恩慈，如今我較常感到蒙恩。神透過這段日子教導我恩典和謙卑，並要我以此作為奔行天路的保護和避難所。
如今我看自己服事的教會是好而蒙福的。透過信心的眼睛我知道神會以祂的方式在這個教會做奇妙的事，教會成長的快慢不在我的手裡。我不需要「為」神做任何事，事實上我也沒有這個能力。想法的改變使得我的擔子變得輕省，我知道自己一點也不行，而神也不需要我行，因為祂是行的。我只需要緊緊跟隨祂，與祂連結。這樣的體認真是好！地上的成功不等於天上的成功。
父親的決志
父親的淋巴癌在去年暑假三次入院之後就加劇，12月開始，腋下的腫瘤已經漲大到像顆300元的大蘋果，右手也腫痛無法活動。這其間感謝許多海內外的肢體和牧者為父親禱告，他也曾樂意讀聖經，並且自己開聲禱告求醫治，但之後沒有立即的神蹟發生，就似乎又走回倚靠自己和醫藥的老路上。
農曆年前後連續12天到醫院去作放射線治療，剛開始腫瘤的確消了一點，但血液的品質也大幅下降，等血液補充得差不多時，腫瘤又猛烈起來。我眼看父親的身體已經衰殘，靈魂卻仍在沈睡，實在憂心，也把自己預見的危機誠實的寫出來，並持續為父親禱告。感謝神，今早與父親分享詩篇91篇，並談到人需要透過神明白自己生命的意義，使人生不只是責任，不滿足和追求得著虛幻的滿足。我感到神的同在和父親的謙卑，於是領他作了決志禱告，我說一句他跟著說一句。當禱告完時，我激動的流下淚來，我心裡明白這其中包含多少禱告的代價，也確知父親的名字已經被記在生命冊上。感謝神，祂是垂聽禱告的上帝！也感謝您的關心和代禱，主必記念。
Wait Three More Chapters
Several months have passed since the last newsletter, in which I shared that I was preparing for the mission field. But since then, many things have happened and there have been many changes, which are not easy to explain. That’s why I have hesitated to write another newsletter. But something has happened in my life that is similar to what happened in the Gospel of John chapter 14:31. Jesus said “Come now, let us leave.” But He did not leave until chapter 18. I’m using this example to “explain” why I have decided not to do missions for the time being.
Admit my weaknesses
For a long time I had the concept that Christians needed to always say “yes” to God, no matter what. But the problem with this concept is that we are liable to misunderstand God’s calling or instructions, or neglect our real feelings and weaknesses. Furthermore, this concept does not seem to be based on love, but instead on authority and obligation. During the time that I thought I should apply to a mission agency and prepare to be a missionary, I started to struggle with problems such as homesickness and loneliness. As a result, I decided to take several days off and hide myself in a quiet place where I could admit my weaknesses and talk to God about my problems.
I realized I couldn’t say “yes” to missions at this time because I was not ready. Praise God because He knows me more than I know myself. And He wishes to show me my limitations instead of wanting me to do something or be someone for Him. So I decided to put off applying to SIM for the time being. Instead, I’m preparing for three more years of ministry with CMA-Neihu church.
Earthly Success Is Not the Same as Heavenly Success
After that I began to accept myself as an ordinary person. I reminded myself not to push others and myself for some kind of standard, or for “what should be”. Then I was able to realize that we all need God’s grace instead of judgment. No one can face judgment and remain standing. Now it’s easier to appreciate people who aren’t like me. And I realize I have received so much support and acceptance from people I used to judge. When I neglected my feelings, I could not experience grace and kindness, now I am more knowledgeable in those areas and feel blessed. I know the importance of the lesson God has taught me about grace and humility, and I need to keep it as my protection and shelter during my entire Christian life.
Now if you ask about the situation in the church where I serve, I can say it is good and blessed. Through the eyes of faith I know God will do amazing things in His way. And the church will grow in His time, not mine. I don’t need to do anything FOR God and indeed I can’t. This realization has lightened my load. How wonderful it is to know I’m not strong at all and I don’t need to be. The Holy One is strong and I just need to connect with Him. Earthly success is not the same as heavenly success. .
My Dad has accepted the Lord!
Last summer Dad went to the hospital three times for his lymph cancer treatment. After that his tumors expanded rapidly. Many brothers, sisters and pastors, both here and overseas, prayed consistently for him. At one point he enjoyed reading the Bible, and even prayed by himself for his illness to be cured. But because the prayer wasn’t answered in the way that he wished, he gave up asking for God’s help and was in a low mood.
In January he went to the hospital for twelve days of radiation treatment. At first, his tumors started to shrink, but at the same time, his blood tests were not good. Then when his blood was replenished, his tumors grew rapidly also. I could see that Dad’s body was getting worse, but his spirit was still asleep. That made me worried. I wrote to him, honestly sharing my concerns for him, and kept praying for him. Praise God, this morning I shared Psalm 91 with him and said that human beings need to understand the meaning of life through God’s eyes. I told him that life is not about responsibility, dissatisfaction, and pursuing empty satisfaction. Then I sensed God’s presence and Dad’s humility. I asked Dad to pray with me, sentence by sentence. Then he asked Jesus to forgive his sins and to live in him. After he finished praying, I was moved and full of tears. I realized this moment had cost many hours and many peoples’ prayers, and my dad’s name had been written on the Book of Life. Praise God, who listens to our prayers! And thank you all very much for your concern and intercession.
Thanks for your concern and prayers.
May you experience God’s beauty and abundance more and more.
sophie's history on 2003 Nov.
起來，我們走吧
2003年過了約有五分之四，我仍然在原來的教會服事，不過我的屬靈生命卻猶如在坐雲霄飛車一般，忽高忽低；又或許是像搭乘捷運，有時進入隧道，有時重見天日。
可能有些人收到了我從隧道中發出的微弱求救訊號，也許有人沒有，不過感謝神，這一切的經歷都將使我更認識祂的信實。
搬家
獨自在內湖居住是件奢侈而充滿理想性的事，我期待透過這個公寓可以開始一些團契和小組，也希望公寓面前的西湖國中可以被主得著。這兩個理想都曾經加上一些努力，不過並沒有被很理想地實現出來。不僅如此，我也開始發現自己由於私下的生活中沒有談話和相處的對象，容易變得自我、孤單，習慣不被需要也無法需要別人。結果就是長時間開著電視，或是透過電腦網路與人相交，並不是我所期望的。所以幾個月前，我決定不再讓自己繼續獨居下去，不過那時候還不明白怎樣改變這個局面。
六七月天氣變化時節，老爸的身體有較大的變化，出入急診室兩次，在醫生告知父親已進入癌症末期的情況後，有較多的時間陪伴父母，也看到母親的軟弱。就這樣，我開始思想幾個月之後搬回家住，正好教會有對年輕人明年初結婚，未到期的租約或許可以讓他們接續下去…。結果經過與房東和這對新人的溝通，變成提前解約，房東先自行使用這個房子兩個月，再與這對新人另立新約。
就這樣，有點匆忙地搬回了台北父母的家，也結束了25個月不甚成功的獨居生活。
再次計畫搬家
由這次搬家讓我再一次經歷到神的保守以及家人的愛，但也懼怕收拾整理的繁瑣。所以當教會朋友問起何時考慮搬回內湖，我的回答是，除非結婚否則不想再搬家了。
不過，早在還沒打算搬家之前，有個機會與國際事工差會（SIM）東亞區主任見面，當時心中隱隱約約明白自己期待已久的宣教之路即將展開，只不過怎麼也沒想到這個出於神的信號會是在自己靈命低潮，服事感到孤單挫折，對家人又十分不捨的時候來到。我捨得嗎？以我的狀況我能站立得住嗎？我真要在覺得教會還很軟弱的時候離開嗎？
我為此延遲了申請加入差會的動作，繼續禱告等候，直到神帶領我出了隧道，撥開迷霧，看見祂在教會的作為和我身上的重建。在這段期間許多朋友及家人成為我的天使，神也藉著這樣的曲折讓我明白祂自有運行的節奏，我常以為祂沒有我快，但神要真快起來可是沒人追得上的。
從我搬回台北之後，神在我們教會開始做許多事，我看到很多機會為我們打開，很多改變出現，弟兄姊妹的回應很令人感動…知道在內湖堂經歷更新的特殊時刻自己有機會與這個教會同在，實在感到榮幸和興奮。
於此同時，也相信「我們必歡歡喜喜而出來，平平安安蒙引導」。我即將申請加入差會，可是我的感動是有同伴的。如果這同伴是配偶，那還要等多久呢？而且還有很多變數。又，這同伴會不會是一同奉差遣的同工，或是宣教工場才學習配搭的同工呢？『亞伯拉罕順從神離開家鄉的時候，還不知道目的地在哪裡』，所以懷抱著許多不確定，似乎是宣教士必學的功課。請為我禱告，使我能跟隨聖靈的帶領，也記念我教會和家庭的需要。
謝謝您的關心與記念
願您更多經歷神的美善與豐富
When the year of 2003 has past nearly four fifth, I’m still a pastor here in CAMA Neihu church. But in this year my spiritual life is like the roller coaster, sometimes up and sometimes down; or like taking Mass Transit Railway, sometimes dark in the tunnel, sometimes bright and hopeful.
Maybe some of you had gotten my weak SOS signal when I was in the tunnel, maybe not. Anyway, thank God for all these had been keeping me knowing His faithfulness.
Move
It’s a luxury and ideal idea to live alone in Neihu. I expected to hold some fellowships or small groups in the apartment, and made the junior high school in front of the apartment be reached by the power of the Gospel. I did try to realize the two thoughts but the results weren’t satisfied. By the way, since I didn’t have company to talk to when I came home, I became lonely and self-centered. I got used of being alone, not be needed. Then I used to keep the TV machine opened, or communicated through internet. I didn’t expect such a life style. So several months ago, I made a decision to end the situation. Though in fact I didn’t know how to at that moment.
Dad’s health got worse when the weather turning hot. On late June he went to ER twice and the doctor said his cancer had expanded. I saw the need and weakness of my parents, and that made me think of moving back to stay with them. After communicating with my landlord, for some other reasons they wanted me to move out within one month.
So, I move back to my parents’ home and end the unsuccessful twenty-five months living-alone life.
Plan to move again
Through my moving back I realize God’s mercy and wisdom, and the love and support from my parents. But I really don’t like to pack and unpack all the stuffs. So when church members ask me when I’ll move back to Neihu, I told them I wish I don’t need to move unless I’ll get married.
But before I confirmed to move back, I saw Andrew Ng the SIM East Asia director. After the conversation I seemed to know the time to leave is near. Graduated from seminary for 5 years, I keep expecting the signal to become a missionary. But it’s hard to imagine God did choose the moment to ask me go when I was down, felt lonely and frustrated, and my church and family were still in need. Can I leave them now? Can I survive in such a situation?
For so many questions I delayed to apply a mission agency and ask for clear direction. Maybe that’s why God brought me out of the tunnel so quickly and made me understand His work in me and in our church. By the help of many angels beside me, I realize God’s pace in every situation. Usually I think God is slower than me, but He can be fast more than our expectation.
That’s the situation in CAMA Neihu church. I saw many chances opened for our church, many changes happened, God’s presence in our congregation, the response of our church members…. Knowing that I’ll have the chance to experience the turning moment of Neihu church made me feel privileged and excited.
At the same time, I do believe “you (pl.) will go out in joy and be led forth in peace.” I’ll apply to join SIM as my mission agency, but I feel I’ll have company. What’s the company mean? A soul mate or a co-worker? How can it be? Like Abraham who didn’t know where to stay when he left his hometown, I’ll keep in uncertainty and learn to follow God’s guide. Please pray for me to recognize the sound from Holy Spirit and do what He asks me.
Thanks for your concern and memorizing.
May you experience God’s beauty and abundance more and more.
2003年過了約有五分之四，我仍然在原來的教會服事，不過我的屬靈生命卻猶如在坐雲霄飛車一般，忽高忽低；又或許是像搭乘捷運，有時進入隧道，有時重見天日。
可能有些人收到了我從隧道中發出的微弱求救訊號，也許有人沒有，不過感謝神，這一切的經歷都將使我更認識祂的信實。
搬家
獨自在內湖居住是件奢侈而充滿理想性的事，我期待透過這個公寓可以開始一些團契和小組，也希望公寓面前的西湖國中可以被主得著。這兩個理想都曾經加上一些努力，不過並沒有被很理想地實現出來。不僅如此，我也開始發現自己由於私下的生活中沒有談話和相處的對象，容易變得自我、孤單，習慣不被需要也無法需要別人。結果就是長時間開著電視，或是透過電腦網路與人相交，並不是我所期望的。所以幾個月前，我決定不再讓自己繼續獨居下去，不過那時候還不明白怎樣改變這個局面。
六七月天氣變化時節，老爸的身體有較大的變化，出入急診室兩次，在醫生告知父親已進入癌症末期的情況後，有較多的時間陪伴父母，也看到母親的軟弱。就這樣，我開始思想幾個月之後搬回家住，正好教會有對年輕人明年初結婚，未到期的租約或許可以讓他們接續下去…。結果經過與房東和這對新人的溝通，變成提前解約，房東先自行使用這個房子兩個月，再與這對新人另立新約。
就這樣，有點匆忙地搬回了台北父母的家，也結束了25個月不甚成功的獨居生活。
再次計畫搬家
由這次搬家讓我再一次經歷到神的保守以及家人的愛，但也懼怕收拾整理的繁瑣。所以當教會朋友問起何時考慮搬回內湖，我的回答是，除非結婚否則不想再搬家了。
不過，早在還沒打算搬家之前，有個機會與國際事工差會（SIM）東亞區主任見面，當時心中隱隱約約明白自己期待已久的宣教之路即將展開，只不過怎麼也沒想到這個出於神的信號會是在自己靈命低潮，服事感到孤單挫折，對家人又十分不捨的時候來到。我捨得嗎？以我的狀況我能站立得住嗎？我真要在覺得教會還很軟弱的時候離開嗎？
我為此延遲了申請加入差會的動作，繼續禱告等候，直到神帶領我出了隧道，撥開迷霧，看見祂在教會的作為和我身上的重建。在這段期間許多朋友及家人成為我的天使，神也藉著這樣的曲折讓我明白祂自有運行的節奏，我常以為祂沒有我快，但神要真快起來可是沒人追得上的。
從我搬回台北之後，神在我們教會開始做許多事，我看到很多機會為我們打開，很多改變出現，弟兄姊妹的回應很令人感動…知道在內湖堂經歷更新的特殊時刻自己有機會與這個教會同在，實在感到榮幸和興奮。
於此同時，也相信「我們必歡歡喜喜而出來，平平安安蒙引導」。我即將申請加入差會，可是我的感動是有同伴的。如果這同伴是配偶，那還要等多久呢？而且還有很多變數。又，這同伴會不會是一同奉差遣的同工，或是宣教工場才學習配搭的同工呢？『亞伯拉罕順從神離開家鄉的時候，還不知道目的地在哪裡』，所以懷抱著許多不確定，似乎是宣教士必學的功課。請為我禱告，使我能跟隨聖靈的帶領，也記念我教會和家庭的需要。
謝謝您的關心與記念
願您更多經歷神的美善與豐富
When the year of 2003 has past nearly four fifth, I’m still a pastor here in CAMA Neihu church. But in this year my spiritual life is like the roller coaster, sometimes up and sometimes down; or like taking Mass Transit Railway, sometimes dark in the tunnel, sometimes bright and hopeful.
Maybe some of you had gotten my weak SOS signal when I was in the tunnel, maybe not. Anyway, thank God for all these had been keeping me knowing His faithfulness.
Move
It’s a luxury and ideal idea to live alone in Neihu. I expected to hold some fellowships or small groups in the apartment, and made the junior high school in front of the apartment be reached by the power of the Gospel. I did try to realize the two thoughts but the results weren’t satisfied. By the way, since I didn’t have company to talk to when I came home, I became lonely and self-centered. I got used of being alone, not be needed. Then I used to keep the TV machine opened, or communicated through internet. I didn’t expect such a life style. So several months ago, I made a decision to end the situation. Though in fact I didn’t know how to at that moment.
Dad’s health got worse when the weather turning hot. On late June he went to ER twice and the doctor said his cancer had expanded. I saw the need and weakness of my parents, and that made me think of moving back to stay with them. After communicating with my landlord, for some other reasons they wanted me to move out within one month.
So, I move back to my parents’ home and end the unsuccessful twenty-five months living-alone life.
Plan to move again
Through my moving back I realize God’s mercy and wisdom, and the love and support from my parents. But I really don’t like to pack and unpack all the stuffs. So when church members ask me when I’ll move back to Neihu, I told them I wish I don’t need to move unless I’ll get married.
But before I confirmed to move back, I saw Andrew Ng the SIM East Asia director. After the conversation I seemed to know the time to leave is near. Graduated from seminary for 5 years, I keep expecting the signal to become a missionary. But it’s hard to imagine God did choose the moment to ask me go when I was down, felt lonely and frustrated, and my church and family were still in need. Can I leave them now? Can I survive in such a situation?
For so many questions I delayed to apply a mission agency and ask for clear direction. Maybe that’s why God brought me out of the tunnel so quickly and made me understand His work in me and in our church. By the help of many angels beside me, I realize God’s pace in every situation. Usually I think God is slower than me, but He can be fast more than our expectation.
That’s the situation in CAMA Neihu church. I saw many chances opened for our church, many changes happened, God’s presence in our congregation, the response of our church members…. Knowing that I’ll have the chance to experience the turning moment of Neihu church made me feel privileged and excited.
At the same time, I do believe “you (pl.) will go out in joy and be led forth in peace.” I’ll apply to join SIM as my mission agency, but I feel I’ll have company. What’s the company mean? A soul mate or a co-worker? How can it be? Like Abraham who didn’t know where to stay when he left his hometown, I’ll keep in uncertainty and learn to follow God’s guide. Please pray for me to recognize the sound from Holy Spirit and do what He asks me.
Thanks for your concern and memorizing.
May you experience God’s beauty and abundance more and more.
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