The Blessing of One New Man

Before Elia and Eliel arrived Taiwan, I felt the things were not going well. But after they arrived, I guess the blessing of One New Man become so real in our ministry. They really feel the passion for Israel from Taiwanese believers. And I got blessings also.

On Saturday before they arrived, I went to a national gathering prayer meeting. After that I asked the aboriginal pastors pray for me. They did pray for me with the anointing from the first born of Taiwan. And before I left Israel on Nov. 2006, I was prayed by Jewish pastors.That's the anointing of the truly first born in the world. So I got two blessings from the first born son.

Not only this, after Elia and Eliel came, we got the blessing from a missionary. She came to Taiwan in her youth age and started ORTV. On Wed. we went to ORTV and got prayers and blessings from her and the director.

On Wed. we also met Tony the general manager of Good TV. He has a clear vision about supporting Israel and is willing to help us. Good TV staffs are so generous to help us and teach us. Now they are going to make a short movie about their life in Taiwan.

On Thu. noon we went to Public Television Service. There is a fellowship time for media believers weekly. We went to have lunch with them and share the testimonies and the vision about media department in Iisrael. We got such a strong prayer support from them and that's really touching to see they prayed hand in hand and use Aaron's blessing to bless Taiwanese believers. As a camera man, I was touched and I could feel the fire within them. (The photo was taken after the prayer.)

I believe we will still have lots of blessings to get and pass them on.

tears for Israel

為以色列不知道流淚了多少次，禱告時哭，打仗時哭，去大屠殺紀念館時哭，聽信息時哭，辦簽證也哭。今期家書就先從流淚談起吧！

又大又難的事
你求告我、我就應允你、並將你所不知道、又大又難的事、指示你。（耶33:3）曾經在參加一次宣教禱告會時，聽見主領的屬靈前輩提到：西方宣教士至少一個月發出一封代禱信，台灣的宣教士有時後好幾個月才一封，需要改進。是啊，以前我沒有按月發代禱信的習慣，但開始以色列事工之後，深深體會到代禱支持的重要。
在前次家書中我提到，需要為許多單位部門之間的溝通聯絡禱告，在這一個月當中的確出現許多這類的問題。同一家公司，問的人不同，得到的答案也不同；同一個政府的不同部門，對簽證問題的回答也不同。有些事我可以自己出面去問，但有些事需要遵循一定的流程，任一環節停滯不前，所有的事就動彈不得。許多次的「等待」，和「預知只說一次沒有效但還是需要等夠久才可以說第二次」讓我挫敗不已。眼見時間一天天過去，心中一大貨櫃的待解決事項還沒辦法消化，對我真是極大的煎熬。
事情真的可以及時完成嗎？請為急性子的我學習交託代禱。

只剩下我一個人
以利亞在何烈山洞口與神對話時，他以為全以色列只剩下他一個人對抗假先知和拜偶像的君王，事實證明並非如此，他也因為這樣的感受灰心沮喪不已。
進行以色列事工對我而言也常常容易落入這樣的孤獨感。對在台灣的朋友和同工而言，不容易瞭解一個即將離開家鄉的人容易產生的多愁善感，和事務纏身的壓力，同時也幫不上忙。許多的關懷和飯局邀約，著實造成我的困擾。汽車機車如何處理，駕照信用卡到期換發，電話寬頻要解約，行李要打包寄海運，這些照一般宣教程序至少要走好幾個月的預備流程（因為還包括加入差會，審核，體檢，籌款…），我在兩個多月內就要完成，並且在這期間我仍然持續工作，並要學習新事物。
對在以色列的牧長和好朋友來說，雖然他們三不五時會來信表示「我們都很想你，要趕快回來喔～」，可是在預備兩名猶太弟兄來台受訓和自己簽證申請的瑣碎事務上，以及與好消息電視台討論未來工作時，還是有獨自承受壓力的感覺。我像是一個濾網，兩邊的現況和期待在我身上交會，但都需要經過處理才能傳遞給對方，在一來一往之際，真是需要學習把重擔交託給神。

讓我歡喜讓我憂的教會
談到自己的教會，彷彿和以色列沒啥關係，但從屬靈角度來看，教會與以色列都是出於神的揀選，也都承受仇敵的攻擊。雖然自覺沒有牧會呼召也沒有牧養恩賜的我十分慶幸自己終於卸下重擔，但已經生發出的牧者心腸（雖然還是不多，但總多少還有一點）還是對教會有所牽掛。想到一些靈命幼嫩或還在慕道階段徘徊的朋友，或是靈命停滯甚至落入仇敵網羅的老基督徒，有時還是會在禱告中落下淚來。
但於此同時，感謝主，祂也持續向我顯明弟兄姊妹對於新牧者的認同和配合，許多肢體在軟弱中仍然堅定事奉，和祂在孩子們生命中的改變更新。神讓我十分平安地離開牧職，並且得到教會的支持，有了一個樂意差派我的母會。
多年前我已經陸續見到許多出國宣教的機會，但讓我遲遲不宣教的原因，除了牧會使命尚未完成之外，也是考量後方的代禱支持太弱。如今宣道會內湖堂和大直內湖聯禱會樂意持續以禱告支持我的服事，關心我的家人，這真是對一個宣教士最好最大的祝福。

泉源之地
靠你有力量心中想往錫安大道的、這人便為有福。他們經過流淚谷、叫這谷變為泉源之地‧並有秋雨之福、蓋滿了全谷。（詩篇84:5-6）以流淚為主題的代禱信，似乎最合適以這兩節經文作結束。我深信所有令我憂慮或牽掛的事至終都會有極美好的結果，也相信以色列與教會在屬靈爭戰中必蒙神的保守看顧。
上帝必勝，神國永存。
** 請為淑鳳代禱：
1.
為好消息電視台對淑鳳、Eliel及Elia的訓練和後續合作計畫代禱。
2. 為淑鳳簽證和搬家過程順利平安，心情輕省代禱。
3. 為母親適應獨居和考慮搬家一事代禱。
4. 為以色列事工在兩地所需要的經費和支援代禱。

** 為淑鳳奉獻方式：

劃撥帳號：19113367 戶名：財團法人加百列福音傳播基金會
（請註明：為郭淑鳳--以色列事工）
另有多種轉帳刷卡或授權定期奉獻方式，歡迎到Good TV網站http://www.goodtv.com.tw/ 點選「奉獻與支持」瀏覽。感謝您的支持。
（宣道會內湖堂和大直內湖地區教會請奉獻至教會，再以教會為單位轉出。）

是爸爸還是大惡魔

很多父母做事的時候，不會考慮孩子，還像在過單身生活。

我有一個朋友，他的父執輩很多都娶超過一個太太，他的姑媽們也有人當別人的小老婆
他自己也因為不只一個女人而離婚了，留下兩個孩子。為了付贍養費，他向後來的女友借錢。
我問他說，這樣騙東騙西的生活你不難過嗎？他自己也承認很累，不想活了。不過事情仍然繼續，他仍然覺得很累。

另外有一天，我遇見一個孩子，他的爸爸在外面有女人，常說謊騙媽媽。這個孩子知道媽媽討厭騙子，所以他也討厭爸爸。可是他為了不讓媽媽傷心，也選擇用說謊話來安慰媽媽。
於是，這個爸爸複製了一個說謊的兒子。不同的是，大人說謊說久了就沒感覺了，但孩子對爸爸的憤怒和情勢下被迫說謊的行為，讓孩子成為一個討厭自己的人。
一個人越討厭某一種行為，就容易被那種行為掌控，至終變成有那樣行為的人。
我討厭爸爸。可是我作的事情跟他一樣。我討厭我自己。 這是人的有限。

這個媽媽問我，該怎麼辦。（她問的不是如何面對有女人的丈夫，而是可憐這個有情緒的兒子。真是一個偉大的媽媽。）我說，他必須原諒他的爸爸，為父親祝福。心中與父親的情緒連結打開了，他才可以勇於不說謊，也不用再討厭自己。
可是為什麼他這個父親說謊值得原諒而且值得被祝福呢？當然不「值得」，可是他「需要」。

每個人的心裡都有一個小惡魔（這是一個媽媽教他孩子的話。很有智慧吧！），你要學習去抵擋它。如果你不去抵擋這個小惡魔，小惡魔就會在你心裡越變越大，越變越大，有一天，小惡魔變成大惡魔的時候，你就再也沒有力氣抵擋它了。所以，現在這個讓人討厭的爸爸其實不是爸爸，而是大惡魔，真正的爸爸已經沒有力氣對抗大惡魔，他需要我們的禱告，求上帝用祂超級超級大的力量來幫助爸爸對抗大惡魔。

爸爸沒有想到大惡魔這麼可怕，所以才會讓小惡魔變成大惡魔。所以你以為你討厭的是爸爸，其實你討厭的是那個大惡魔。大惡魔要爸爸說謊，大惡魔要爸爸在外面不回家，大惡魔讓媽媽和你都不快樂，你要大聲說：我討厭你！大惡魔！不准你住在我爸爸心裡！！！

與惡魔交手，上帝必勝！誰能拒絕一個孩子的禱告呢！

你想要「有錢」，還是「比人家有錢」？

今天聽廣播才知道啥叫做M型社會也聽說如果在同樣的社會生活，大部分的人寧可「少領一些薪水，可是比別人有錢」，也不願「多領一些薪水，可是相對而言沒有別人有錢」。
主持人的結論是：有錢不一定快樂。

我想，重點是你的「有錢」是誰的標準，誰的定義。
當我想到這篇文章的題目時，「有錢」意味著你自己的定義，可是「比人家有錢」是依據別人的條件來比較，所以這是一種受到現實環境限制的定義，給我不自由的感覺。

2001年我去雪梨，當地的牧者打算聘用我，他問了一句「你在台灣有債務嗎？」「沒有」。就這點而言，我覺得自己比大部分同年齡的人有錢（自由）。

Good News, Good TV

How lovely is Your tabernacle, O LORD of hosts! (Ps. 84:1)
God gave me Psalm 84 before my second visit to Israel in Dec. 2005. On my third and most recent visit while staying at the Or HaCarmel (Light of Carmel) Ministry Center, I experienced the blessing promised in this psalm even more, and learned a Hebrew worship song “Ma Yedidot” which is based on this verse.
I served more than three weeks as a volunteer at Or HaCarmel and knowing I would have to leave again, I actually started to miss Mt. Carmel while I was still there! Or HaCarmel is an international ministry center with three buildings, including a pastor’s apartment, women’s refuge, internship program and accommodations for volunteers. There are two prayer rooms where I was often drawn to spend time alone with God. It was not really a problem that I did not know Hebrew and although I was concerned that loneliness might be an obstacle for me, it was not that serious either. God blessed me and I was accepted as one of the team. Over the several weeks I was there, God revealed His guidance to me quickly and marvelously.

Their line has gone out through all the earth, And their words to the end of the world.
When I came to Or HaCarmel, I was praying and asking God whether He was guiding me to stay there for a long period of time. I was not sure what to do there since my English is not good enough, and I saw no need for a female pastor. The first sign from God came when I talked to Eliel, who is the sound engineer at Carmel Assembly, the congregation where Or HaCarmel is located. I discovered that they had no video cameras or projectors and when I asked Eliel, he told me about their desire and vision to have a Media Department. One year ago, when I visited Carmel Assembly with several other pastors from Taiwan, one pastor filmed the congregation’s passionate worship. Later, I could still feel their joy and love for the Lord through the DVD. So I told Eliel that I had the burden to produce DVDs like that. The second sign came after we prayed for a parcel of land in front of Or HaCarmel that needs to be purchased. I felt the desire to build a studio for television and audio recording on that piece of land. The worship of Carmel Assembly is full of anointing from the Holy Spirit. They have lots of wonderful worship leaders and some of them have their own CD albums. I thought of a nice studio for CD recording, editing and mixing that belongs to a worship team in Taiwan. If there were such a professional studio on Mt. Carmel they could record and produce live worship CDs easily. The studio could become a good resource for other Messianic worship teams in the Galilee and northern part of Israel.
After that, I felt that I received a lot of guidance from God. I began to deeply appreciate the biblical revelation and inspiration from God that comes to us through the Hebrew language and culture. If a media department were developed, a hidden treasury of teaching could be delivered to Chinese Christians, and could be used to equip lots of young people in China who are preparing to bring the gospel back to Jerusalem. I felt so excited about this vision that I sent an e-mail to Pastor Peter Tsukahira. At that moment, I was thinking there could be a connection with Good TV, a Christian TV station in Taiwan with two channels: one for the Taiwanese public and another one that covers most of Mainland China by satellite.
In the meantime, God did another amazing thing. Before I had the chance to talk to Pastor Peter, I began to record on film a ministry called House of Victory. There, I interviewed a young man named Elia whom I had met about 10 months ago. Elia, also had the burden to create a media department at Or HaCarmel. He was in the process of creating a website in Russian and English. Eliel, Elia and I, all non-professional media persons, in three nights of work made a program to introduce the work of House of Victory. We were encouraged by the result and felt excited about what God was guiding us to do.

What God provided for the church I serve
Before this most recent visit to Israel, the church where I serve was prepared to support me to fulfill God’s will in my life. When I mentioned plans for my two months’ trip in Israel, the deacons and church members showed great faith and willingness to stand with me. Now that I am sure of God’s guidance for me to serve Him on Mt. Carmel, I will pastor the church until the end of 2006. From the beginning of 2007, Pastor Paul Lin who joined our church ministry in August will be the formal pastor. While I was away, God brought new friends to the church where they found salvation. Some family members of others in our congregation got saved also. We know we are entering a season of preparations to move to a larger facility. I believe the Christian and Missionary Alliance Neihu Church will experience God’s beauty and abundance in greater measure during the coming year!

In the Mount of the LORD it shall be provided.
The media department ministry at Or HaCarmel began with very few resources. We had no budget, professional equipment, or full-time committed people. We were without a working plan and I had no official working identity to get a visa. Thanks be to God! The first resource I thought of was Good TV and I got the idea from God to apply for a visa as a foreign correspondent for the Taiwanese TV station. God gave me wisdom for a new ministry also. So I completed a proposal before I left Israel and handed it over to Pastor Peter and Mr. Tony Tseng the President of Good TV. One week later, they met in Malaysia and discussed my situation. Ten days after that, I had an appointment at Good TV in Taipei and the following day I got support more than I expected.
Good TV promised to provide equipment, a one month training course for Eliel, Elia and me as well as official employment for me so I can apply for a visa. Donations for my personal support from Taiwan will go to Good TV and get a tax-exempt receipt. Good TV will transfer the funds directly to me. The equipment budget will be about USD $15,000 and my support for a year will be USD $18,000. May God honor the faith of Mr. Tony Tseng and others from Good TV and bless their work.

#Please support me in your prayers:
1. Please pray for my Mom. She is going to live alone with two dogs and some fishes. May she get saved soon and be released from worrying about me. Very possibly she will need to move closer to my eldest brother. Changing locations always makes her nervous.
2. Please pray for Eliel, Elia and my training at Good TV from mid-January until mid-February.
3. Please pray for intercessors to come alongside this work and for God to supply all our material needs.
4. Please pray for my work visa application and the preparation for moving in the midst of such a tight and busy schedule.
5. Please pray for good communication between different countries, churches, companies and ministries.


Thanks for your support!!!
May God be with you always ~

Good News, Good TV

萬軍之耶和華阿、你的居所何等可愛
詩篇84篇是我去年底第二次前往以色列前神給我的經文，這次我在迦密山教會，越發體會這篇詩篇中所應許的福份，也學了一首以這節經文為歌詞的詩歌。
超過三週在這個教會的志工生活，讓我很快地開始想念這裡。這是一個國際化的事工中心，有三棟建築物，包括牧師館、婦女收容中心、宣教士和實習生宿舍。其中兩個禱告室，也吸引我時常在裡面彈琴唱歌親近主。在這裡服事，不會希伯來文的問題不大；單身需要面對的孤單感也不大。神祝福我，讓我很快地被接納成為他們的一份子，神也迅速向我顯明他的奇妙帶領。

他的量帶通遍天下、它的言語傳到地極
當我來到迦密山教會一兩週後，我持續為著自己是否蒙神帶領久居此地禱告。我不知道自己可以做什麼，因為教會對女傳道的需求不高，自己的英文又不夠好。第一個記號是來自與Eliel聊天，他是會堂的音控同工。當我問起這數百人的會堂裡竟然沒有單槍投影機和攝影機時，他提起建立傳播部門的負擔。我們一年前在此參加聚會時，有位內湖的牧師全程錄影，之後觀看時還能感受到當場敬拜的熱情，所以我也提起自己對這方面的負擔。第二個記號是在我們為著教會要購買前面一大塊空地禱告之後，我向幾位同工提起建立攝影棚和錄音室的感動。他們的聚會敬拜滿有聖靈的恩膏，敬拜主領是Karen Davis，持續製作許多屬於彌賽亞信徒的詩歌CD，另一位敬拜主領Brandon也預備發行第一張詩歌CD，人才濟濟。我想到天韻詩班的韻德錄音室，只要他們也有專業錄音室就可能發行現場敬拜CD，並且也可以成為加利利地區其他彌賽亞信徒敬拜團隊的資源。
之後，記號陸續出現，我也越發明白神的話語透過猶太語言和文化的理解，所產生的啟示和爆發力。想到建立傳播部門可以將這裡寶貴的信息傳遞給華人教會，也裝備許多在中國大陸蒙召參與回宣的準宣教士，就滿有負擔。也因此用email向彼得塚平牧師分享這個負擔，我當時想到的媒體就是好消息電視台。最奇妙的是，在還沒有機會與他當面談話之前，我去採訪一個戒毒中心，並且發現我十個月前就認識的青年Elia，竟然也對影音傳播有負擔，正在使用俄語和英語建製影音網站。就這樣，我，Eliel和Elia三個勇敢的業餘傳播人，製作了一個25分鐘的專題節目，成品是英文版，還算有個樣子，十分令人興奮。希望很快的未來可以完成中文版，與您分享。

神為教會所作的預備
上封家書中我說這個教會已經預備好了，在我對以色列的負擔及牧者的轉換上，執事同工們展現出極大的信心和配合度。我在宣道會內湖堂的主任傳道一職到2006年底結束，明年一月起由已經參與配搭事奉四個月的林楷鈞牧師接任。這幾個月神也帶領新朋友來到教會，決志信主；在會友的家人中也有決志者；同時我們也領受了預備遷堂的感動，要著手為此禱告奉獻。相信宣道會內湖堂已經進入新的季節，神的美善和豐富正等著我們去經歷！

在耶和華的山上必有預備
當想到要去迦密山教會開始傳播部門的事工時，我們現有的條件實在困窘。沒有開辦費，沒有設備，沒有專業人才，沒有頭緒，而我—沒有身份拿簽證。感謝神，當我對這件事有負擔的時候，我首先想到的是頻道，也就是好消息電視台。之後神給我智慧，讓我想到用電視台特派員的名義辦簽證，祂也給了我一些初步的構想。於是我趕在離開以色列之前將構想完成，交由彼得塚平牧師帶去馬來西亞與好消息電視台的曾國生總經理洽談。企畫案出爐一週後，他們兩人就這項事工作了初步的溝通，十天後我到電視台開會，又過了一天得到所需要的協助。
好消息電視台提供設備，提供訓練，提供我申請簽證的身份，並且憑信心支付我個人全年所需用各項費用。有感動為我奉獻的人，只要奉獻到Good TV指明為郭淑鳳--以色列事工奉獻，就可以拿到奉獻收據。為著這項事工，光是初期的設備就需要四五十萬，我全年所需費用也超過五十五萬，願神記念好消息電視台的信心，祝福他們的營運狀況。

>> 如需代禱消息或為淑鳳奉獻相關資訊，歡迎發電子郵件至sophiek_ii@hotmail.com, 多謝配合
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where is the real me?

last night I talked in MSN to my friend joseph. he mentioned about depression and his relationship with his mom. we discussed the rejection from our family and realized lots of babies are not welcomed in their family.

Some parents don't want to have one more bady. Some don't want a girl. Some didn't expect to have one at that time. Some from underground affair.

When I told to Joseph, my dad didn't want a girl. He asked me, you have brothers, right? Yes, I have two. So why? Two boys are enough for my dad. a girl? raising someone's wife, what for? That's the meaning of a girl for my dad: spending money, without benefit.

And my mom told my dad, she believed this one would be a girl. She wanted to have a girl. My mom fought for her gender, and my right to live. I thank God for saving me through my mom. But honestly speaking, I think the baby girl died young.

For my dad, a real girl existed only for a short time. Than I was recognized to be a helper, a person contributing to my family. Unless he would treat me like "why don't you just disappear immediately"? For my mom, she didn't know what a real girl is either. The baby girl inside her died young also. Before last night discussion I didn't understand my mom. I feel she is childish and unreasonable some time. Now I know why. We both want to go back to our young age and be a real baby girl.

Where is the real me? I need to look for her.