Another country - after Solo visitation on 2004 summer

另一個家鄉
感謝神，由印尼回台北之後原本應該忙於青少年營會和參加醫治釋放訓練特會，結果在結束青少年營會後因為颱風放了兩天假，使我有機會在家裡向您報告這段日子以來的變化。
尋訪另一個家鄉
在今年初就計畫於暑假期間安排一個月的短宣訪問，目的是尋求未來宣教地點、協助教會培養宣教異象，以及三年後前往事奉工場。在牧會三年後，執事會許可我放下教會事務一個月，實屬難得，尤其是我們教會只有我一個全職同工。
年初時還為著父親的病況不穩而對這趟旅程持保留態度，但在父親三月底過世、五月中與大直內湖區牧者前往印尼學習追求之後，暑假的短宣之旅遂變得豁然開朗。於是我在七月23日抵達雅加達，八月1日抵達中爪哇第三大城Solo，八月20日回台北。
對印尼的認識不深，只在五年前去過雅加達，但很巧的是五月去Solo時遇到五年前在雅加達認識的牧師，所以這次有機會在雅加達停留，進入Niko牧師的廿四小時禱告塔，也探訪認識當地的華人。
不過，我對Solo卻有十分不同的情感。上次離開Solo，我在登上往雅加達的飛機時，產生了對這個城市的不捨。那時我覺得特別，因為我不曾這麼快（人還沒離開）開始想念一個地方。這次我停留了雅加達，也曾造訪日惹（中爪哇第二大城），但還是對Solo情有獨鍾。對於一個在都市成長並且喜愛夜生活的我來說，又是另一項特別。

爪哇人，神的託付！？
我所拜訪的教會目前擁有一萬五千名會友，正朝向兩萬人的異象努力邁進。為了加速認識他們的生活和文化，我期待住在會友家裡，貼近他們的生活。原本以為會住在五月份有過數面之緣的其中一位華人的家中，但神卻為我預備了一個爪哇人的寄宿家庭，住在爪哇人集中的區域。經過二十天的相處，以英語和簡單印尼文，再加上比手劃腳，我與這位寡居的退休護士Bu Datik（Bu的意思是女士/媽媽），她的女傭，以及兩隻狗建立了不錯的友誼。她們常期待我能又學印尼語又學爪哇語，結果總是讓我更頭大。但我相信這是下次造訪Solo的功課。
抵達Solo的第一天晚上，教會同工就邀約我去看爪哇人的傳統戲劇，見到爪哇傳統的手鼓、鐵琴，產生出節奏清晰強烈的樂音，再配上尖細嫵媚的女聲，十分有趣。第八天晚上，我與Bu Datik一同參加住宅附近爪哇人的婚宴。坐在賓客席，我們一面等待上菜，一面見到新人的親戚陸續與新人合影。我開始思索這麼多有趣新奇的經驗，是否意味著神引導我以爪哇人為我未來服事的群體？就我在Solo接觸的觀察，他們有著深色的皮膚、濃密的睫毛、音樂天分極高、節奏感強烈。在整體經濟現況中，他們較華人居於劣勢，但沒有嫉妒對抗的心態。這些條件都十分吸引我。在Solo的爪哇人絕大部分信仰回教，但參雜著泛靈思想，向他們傳福音似乎不需對回教基本教義認識太過清楚。1998年暴亂之後，Solo有大批爪哇人歸主，受到的逼迫並不強烈，目前仍是向他們傳福音的大好時機。
幾位Solo教會的同工和Bu Datik詢問我何時還會再去，我的心迫切希望能夠盡快再去，甚至已經夢到自己回到Solo。不過，我仍需要尋求神在宣教方向上更清楚的印證和引導。

個別宣教課程
自己之前曾經在香港生活兩年，獨自前往中國大陸三次，在雪梨短宣三個月，不過，這次在Solo的宣教體驗仍然相當值得紀錄。
這是第一次我遇到語言不通的問題，所申請的國際駕照也沒有印尼文說明，為了避免給教會帶來困擾，我成為一個有口不能說，有耳不能聽，有手有腳卻始終需要司機和翻譯的人。在那裡我嘗試製作一個45分鐘的普通話教學廣播節目，但因為翻譯人才難尋，最後只得透過英語間接翻譯才得以完成，如果早知這項工程之艱鉅，恐怕不敢嘗試。語言不通會使人成為nobody、成為需要麻煩別人的人，也更顯出自己獨自在異鄉的孤單。
這也是第一次我遇到飲食和生活上的困難。當地許多食物是油炸之後食用，食用的時候很可能已經冷掉了。於是我發現我的口樂意認同當地人，但我的胃腸卻不配合。蚊子是另一項考驗，剛去的幾天幾乎無法睡，因為沒有紗窗，也沒有蚊帳。在台灣用慣了電蚊香的我實在不適應和殺蟲劑或蚊香共處一室（事實上效果也十分有限），逼得我趕緊發簡訊回台灣請求代禱。
在遭遇這些事情的過程中，我似乎隱約理解一種困境：你很愛這裡的人事物，但你的身體卻不為你效力，環境也拒絕你、非但不接受你的愛還反過來攻擊抵擋你。在禱告中我學習不依自己的理性分析解決問題，而是禱告、請求代禱、等候神。我幾乎每兩三天就遭遇一次打擊，逼使我哭倒在神面前。但在某天的聚會敬拜中，我感覺這一次次的哭求其實正是神所要求於我的，在神面前單純討祂喜悅、愛祂所愛的心。事實上，在Solo的時候，這也是我唯一可以獻給主的。
這項宣教課程使我更明白耶穌基督和宣教前輩們曾經走過的路，和神對我的期許與託付。

我及教會領受的祝福
上次來Solo之後，我深埋心底的傷痛得到醫治釋放，這次造訪Solo時得到印證。這次我可以自由地投入敬拜，旁若無人，跳舞時的腳步也不覺得沈重。上次我不懂得欣賞某位牧者，這次我十分喜歡他並且請求他為我祝福。
在那裡，我也與教會幾位年輕同工成為好朋友，彷彿自己也年輕了不少，回到台北也發現教會同工們熱心承接教會責任，可以獨當一面。
我知道神正在內湖做奇妙的事，我們教會也有幸置身其中。透過這次旅程對於教會未來發展方向和策略更有頭緒，也期待見證 神將在內湖的復興作為。話雖如此，仍然請求您多為台灣、多為教會代禱，因為我們仍然需要信心和勇氣，才能做好承接復興的預備，在仇敵攻擊攪擾時能夠站立得穩，並忍耐等候將臨的大收割。

個人和家人需要
獨自在家一個月，對失去父親不到半年的母親而言並不容易，如今見我返台後仍然想著再去，心中滋味實在難以言喻。請為母親早日信主代禱，也盼望下次前往宣教地時邀她同行。
在西雅圖讀書的二哥九月初返台休假，將和大哥前往湖南老家「尋根探源」。他們兩家人都尚未認識神，請為未來的相聚和他們的旅程代禱。
至於我嘛，回到台北，心情也還在調適階段。一方面捨不得離開Solo的屬靈空氣和敬拜品質，同時又籌畫著多項教會事工的改革，戰戰兢兢。許多事放在心中，等候著去傳遞、推動、召聚動員、付諸實施，感覺格外孤單。仍然相信「那人獨居不好」，也盼望前往外地宣教時是兩人同行，請代禱，也歡迎代為留意靈裡火熱、愛主且有宣教負擔的人選。

Terima Kasih Tuhan (Thank God), after coming back from Indonesia I was supposed to be busy with a youth camp and a conference on healing and deliverance. But a typhoon brought me two holidays, allowing me to have the opportunity to prepare a newsletter about recent events.

Looking for another country
Early this year, I planned a one-month trip to visit some mission fields, not only to seek my mission location for the future, but also to help my church to build up a vision for missions outside Taiwan. After being a pastor in the church for only three years, it’s not easy to get the deacon board approval for a one-month leave with payment and additional ministry support, especially as up till now, I have been the only full-time worker in my church.
During January I wondered if I could make it because my father’s cancer was getting worse. But in late March Dad passed away, and in May I joined the other pastors from Neihu to visit Solo, Indonesia. After this, the trip and the place seemed to be more and more clear. So I arrived in Jakarta on July 23, and then on August 1, went on to Solo, which is the third largest city in Middle Java. I came back to Taipei on Aug. 20.
Having only previously visited Jakarta once, in 1999, I did not have any strong impressions of Indonesia. But when I visited Solo in May, I saw pastor Li, whom I had met in 1999. So this time I stayed at his church and visited the 24-hour prayer tower in Gajah Mada, and did some visitation with the local Chinese people.
Nevertheless, I found that I had a special feeling about the city Solo. During my May visit, when I boarded the plane from Solo to back to Jakarta, I very quickly began to miss the place. This was the first time that I had started to miss a place so quickly upon leaving, and the feeling surprised me. This summer, even though I stayed in Jakarta, and visited Yogyakarta, the second biggest city in Middle Java, I still liked Solo the most. Again this feeling surprised me, because I had grown up in a metropolitan area, and have always liked to have night activities.

The Javanese, the people God is entrusting to me!?
The church I visited in Solo (GBI-Keluarga Allah) has 15,000 church members, and they are have a vision to expand to 20,000 members. In order to learn more quickly about their life style and culture, I had expected to stay with some church members. Before I arrived I had assumed that I would stay with one of the Chinese whom I had met in May. But indeed God prepared a Javanese home-stay in a Javanese area. After twenty days of living together, through English, simple Bahasa (the official language of Indonesia) and body language, I made friends with Mrs. Datik, a retired nurse, her maid Tari, and her two dogs. They expected me to learn both Bahasa and Javanese, but this made me even more confused. I believe next time when I visit Solo, I’ll need to learn the language.
On my first day in Solo, the staff of the children’s department invited me to watch a traditional Javanese opera. I saw Javanese traditional hand drums and iron percussion which can make a strong and clear rhythm. It made a very interesting accompaniment to the soft, high and delicate female voice. On the eighth night, Mrs. Datik and I attended a Javanese wedding near to my home-stay. Sitting on the guest seat, we waited for the meal and saw many relatives of the new couple have pictures taken with them. I began to think about these interesting and fun experiences. Did this mean that God would lead me to stay with the Javanese in the future, and that they would be my target people? According to my observations, they have dark skin, beautiful eyelashes, good musical talent, and a strong sense of rhythm. Socially, they are both economically and educationally lower than the local Chinese. But they are not jealous or aggressive towards the rich. All of these factors attracted me. Most Javanese in Solo are folk Muslims; I don’t need to do any thorough research about the Islam doctrines in advance. After the great riot of 1998, many Javanese in Solo converted to Christianity and they were not seriously persecuted. There are still many good opportunities to reach them now.
Some of the church staff and Mrs. Datik asked me when I’ll go back there again. In my heart the answer is “As soon as possible.” And in fact I’ve already dreamed of going back. But I need to seek God’s further confirmation and guidance.

Personal mission course
I spent two years in Hong Kong, visited mainland China three times by myself, and stayed in Sydney for three months. However, my trip to Solo taught me much about missions.
It’s the first time that I experienced serious communication problems. I had applied for an international traffic license to drive motorcycles and cars. But there was no Indonesian translation on it. So, in Solo I was a person with a mouth who could not speak, with ears that could not listen, and with hands and legs, but I still needed drivers and translators. I tried to make a 45 minute Mandarin teaching radio program. However, it was hard to find a translator. Finally, most of it needed to be translated into English first before I could find help. If I had known ahead of time that I would encounter these problems, maybe I would not have attempted to do the radio program. The language barrier causes a person to become a “nobody”, and in constant need of help from others. It makes one feel terribly lonely in a new country.
And it’s the first time also that I encountered problems with food and living. Lots of fried food was already cold when we ate it. So my mouth was willing to join the local people but my stomach wasn’t. Another problem was the mosquitoes. Javanese houses don’t have screen windows and people there don’t use mosquito curtains. I felt like every mosquito was interested in this new visitor and I could hardly fall asleep during the first week. Finally I used my mobile phone to send a prayer request back to Taipei by text message.
Through these experiences, I seemed to have a greater understanding of the following predicament: you love a certain place, and a certain people, but your body doesn’t work for you, and the environment also works against you. After prayer, I learned not to analyze or solve problems by reason, but by praying, asking for intercession, and waiting on God. Unlike my former experiences, I met problems nearly every two or three days. All these pushed me to look for God and to cry out before Him. But one day when I was worshipping God during the church service, I sensed that all the crying out was exactly what God was asking of me, a pure heart willing to love what He loves and to please Him. In fact, it was the only thing I could dedicate to the Lord while in Solo.
This mission experience made me understand more about what Jesus Christ had gone through, and what missionaries have to go through, and what God expects of me and entrusts to me.
The blessings that my church and I received
The first time I visited Solo, I received inner healing. This fact was confirmed during the second trip. I could join the in the worship and praise freely as if I was by myself, and I could dance naturally instead of with heavy steps. During my first visit, I didn’t like a certain pastor, but this time I appreciated him and asked for his blessings.
And the young church staff there became my good friends and supporters. They helped me to feel younger. When I came back to Taipei, I found that while I was gone, my church members had looked after the church, and taken their responsibilities seriously. That was another blessing from my trip.
I know God is doing marvelous things in the Neihu churches. What a blessing to be a part of it! As a result of the trip I gained more insights concerning the church’s future direction and strategies. And I expect to be a witness of God’s revival in Neihu. Despite this, we still need your prayers for Taiwan, and for the churches here, because we need faith and courage to prepare for the revival, to stand firm when getting attacked from the enemies, and to wait patiently for the coming harvest.

Personal and family needs
Mom just became a widow less than six months ago. It was not easy for her to be home alone for one month. It is hard for her to accept the fact that I wish to go back to Solo in the near future. Please pray for my mother to receive God’s salvation soon. And maybe next time when I have a mission trip she can go with me.
My second brother came home from Seattle in September. He and my first brother went to Hunan, where Dad was born. They learned new things about our family through this trip. My two brothers and their families are not Christians yet. Please pray for them.
As for me, I’m still adjusting to feeling torn between two places. On the one hand I miss the spiritual atmosphere and worship quality in Solo, but on the other hand I’m planning many new church ministries here. Lots of things are on my heart, waiting to be communicated, promoted and realized. This makes me feel lonely. I still believe “it’s not good for a woman to be alone”, and hope to have someone with me when I’m sent out to the mission field. I believe that God has someone prepared already. Please pray for me to get ready also.